I have a friend who refuses to marry because he can't imagine being in love longer than a few years. But in my opinion, commitment protects the relationship, because there are always going to be moments when you can't imagine being in love, no matter how wonderful that person is. Am I right?
If one definition of insanity is repeating the same actions under the same circumstances and expecting a different result, then forgiveness does not require setting yourself up to be hurt again. So, Charlie Brown, you and Lucy can still be friends; just find someone else to hold the football.
I don't feel sorry for people past the level of grade school who are still making "That's what she said" jokes; I'm too busy feeling bad for people past the level of grade school who don't get them.
I understand the importance of films that depict the struggles of a race, such as Roots, Schindler's List, and 12 Years of Slavery. Meanwhile, let's not forget that while a lot of people are being educated about oppression and inhumanity, a lot of people who aren't capable of controlling their rage are being affected.
Confusion over ObamaCare has led to an increase of criminals scamming people for their money. Everyone, especially those on Medicare, need to know that there is no such thing as an ObamaCare card, and to never give money or personal information (such as a social security number) to anyone.
Imperfection is no excuse; I'm working on self-control: someone who's hurting someone I love gets a little bit of appropriate comeuppance, for a moment, in my head, I do a little happy dance.
A recent study suggests that children who are spanked develop smaller vocabularies. That was the headline. Much lower in the article, in smaller print, it's revealed that this study was non-conclusive and not absolute. But, having been spanked as a child, not only did I not read that far, but I'm not sure what that means.
First, we had planking, then owling; in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, a new Internet trend has emerged, called "mamming." The idea is that once women have done this, having a mammogram should be less frightening. After all, it's more important to be hip than to be healthy.
For the woman who has everything: to increade breast cancer awareness, a brassiere has been developed with a bluetooth chip that posts breast examination reminders on Twitter whenever the bra's clasp is undone. See? Technology can be fun!
Admit it: we all know at least one person who hasn't quite understood the concept of skinny jeans.
Agape' -- P
Friday, October 25, 2013
Friday, October 18, 2013
October 18, 2013
This speech-to-text software may be a technological marvel, but considering that we often speak faster than we think, and that a number of us tend to ramble, is all the proofreading and revising really worth it?
I often get a kick out of people gossipping about how nosy someone else is.
Repeatedly asking me the same question will not get you a different answer, because even if I was lying when I answered the first time (highly unlikely, by the way), now I'll refuse to give you a different answer because YOU'RE TICKING ME OFF.
I actually feel sorry for the Starbucks Drake guy; I bet when he sent his video, he didn't know it was creepy enough to launch a meme.
It's better to be a genuine unsung hero than a fake, papier mâché gloryhound.
October 17 was "Spirit Day", observed by people wearing purple, taking a stand against bullying, in support of the LGBT community. Okay, bullying for whatever reason is wrong, but the LGBT community isn't the only victims; people of all ages are being bullied for being tall, short, fat, thin, poor, etc. What day do we support them?
Surviving a wild or even immoral background doesn't make you a hypocrite if you disapprove of such behavior today; even if your priorities haven't changed, today's world is way different from yesterday's, and exponentially more dangerous.
Conrad Murray, the former doctor who will soon be released from incarceration for the involuntary homicide of Michael Jackson, wants his medical license reinstated. His argument is that Jackson is the only patient Murray has ever lost, while other doctors who have lost several patients are still practicing medicine. Is it too soon to suggest that, before making a decision, the licensing board sleep on it?
While a number of people criticized Justin Bieber for disrespecting the Great Wall of China, the Chinese embassy is in favor of the pop star increasing young tourism and commerce. Anybody want cream (as in, Cash Rules Everything Around Me) in their coffee?
How did I avoid pot stickers all these years? They're delightful! One more thing off the bucket list (by the way, is it disrespectful to call it a bucket list when you hope to live forever?).
Agape -- P
I often get a kick out of people gossipping about how nosy someone else is.
Repeatedly asking me the same question will not get you a different answer, because even if I was lying when I answered the first time (highly unlikely, by the way), now I'll refuse to give you a different answer because YOU'RE TICKING ME OFF.
I actually feel sorry for the Starbucks Drake guy; I bet when he sent his video, he didn't know it was creepy enough to launch a meme.
It's better to be a genuine unsung hero than a fake, papier mâché gloryhound.
October 17 was "Spirit Day", observed by people wearing purple, taking a stand against bullying, in support of the LGBT community. Okay, bullying for whatever reason is wrong, but the LGBT community isn't the only victims; people of all ages are being bullied for being tall, short, fat, thin, poor, etc. What day do we support them?
Surviving a wild or even immoral background doesn't make you a hypocrite if you disapprove of such behavior today; even if your priorities haven't changed, today's world is way different from yesterday's, and exponentially more dangerous.
Conrad Murray, the former doctor who will soon be released from incarceration for the involuntary homicide of Michael Jackson, wants his medical license reinstated. His argument is that Jackson is the only patient Murray has ever lost, while other doctors who have lost several patients are still practicing medicine. Is it too soon to suggest that, before making a decision, the licensing board sleep on it?
While a number of people criticized Justin Bieber for disrespecting the Great Wall of China, the Chinese embassy is in favor of the pop star increasing young tourism and commerce. Anybody want cream (as in, Cash Rules Everything Around Me) in their coffee?
How did I avoid pot stickers all these years? They're delightful! One more thing off the bucket list (by the way, is it disrespectful to call it a bucket list when you hope to live forever?).
Agape -- P
Friday, October 11, 2013
October 11, 2013
A revised edition of The New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures using even more modern English has been released to enhance understanding scripture. It boggles my mind that some are critical of translating scripture into the complex English language, but don't want to learn Hebrew and Greek.
During an appearance on The Jimmy Kimmel Show this week, Kanye West explained that he understands that paparazzi has to earn a living, but "Don't try to antagonize me. It's not safe for you in this world." Maybe that isn't the best statement to make on national TV while being prosecuted for assaulting a photographer. Ironically, he also proclaimed that he's a genius.
During his warning to the paparazzi, Kanye warned them, "Don't act like you don't know I'm from Chicago." I'm also from Chicago; now I understand why the paparazzi never bothers me. It all makes sense now!
Okay, I'm not proud of this, but my initial reaction to the news that Lindsay Lohan wants to open her own rehab facility was the same as a lot of people: "What, is she high?"
The day after conducting a detailed reconnaissance trip at the Minnesota-St. Paul International Airport, a 9-year-old boy successfully stowed away on a flight to Las Vegas. All I can remember about my ninth year was sixth grade, Schoolhouse Rock, and spending an occasional Saturday with my dad on his second job. I feel like such an under-achiever.
Speaking of air safety, 56% of the commercial pilots recently surveyed by the BBC admitted to falling asleep in the cockpit mid-flight. But that didn't disturb me as much as the 29% who said they woke to find their co-pilots asleep as well!
Chris Brown is reportedly defending Justin Bieber, insisting the young singer is a victim of reverse racism, and being criticized just because he hangs out with black people. My initial reaction was the same as a lot of people: "Really?"
Okay, I'm really working on my self-restraint right now. I will not make fun of the friends who know that I have voicemail instead of an answering machine, yet still leave messages saying, "Are you there? Pick up the phone!" But you know who you are.
A number of people (granted, not a large number) were surprised by the news that reality TV celebrity couple Bruce and Kris Jenner, after 20+ years of marriage, have separated. Bruce reportedly moved out in June; speculation is that Kris only recently noticed.
A homeowner and his wife are being threatened with legal action by the parents of a teenage girl who became pregnant by another guest during an unsupervised house party where alcohol was readily available. While homeowners are indeed culpable for what goes on in their home, this just demonstrates what happens when there are more lawsuits than morals.
Agape' -- P
During an appearance on The Jimmy Kimmel Show this week, Kanye West explained that he understands that paparazzi has to earn a living, but "Don't try to antagonize me. It's not safe for you in this world." Maybe that isn't the best statement to make on national TV while being prosecuted for assaulting a photographer. Ironically, he also proclaimed that he's a genius.
During his warning to the paparazzi, Kanye warned them, "Don't act like you don't know I'm from Chicago." I'm also from Chicago; now I understand why the paparazzi never bothers me. It all makes sense now!
Okay, I'm not proud of this, but my initial reaction to the news that Lindsay Lohan wants to open her own rehab facility was the same as a lot of people: "What, is she high?"
The day after conducting a detailed reconnaissance trip at the Minnesota-St. Paul International Airport, a 9-year-old boy successfully stowed away on a flight to Las Vegas. All I can remember about my ninth year was sixth grade, Schoolhouse Rock, and spending an occasional Saturday with my dad on his second job. I feel like such an under-achiever.
Speaking of air safety, 56% of the commercial pilots recently surveyed by the BBC admitted to falling asleep in the cockpit mid-flight. But that didn't disturb me as much as the 29% who said they woke to find their co-pilots asleep as well!
Chris Brown is reportedly defending Justin Bieber, insisting the young singer is a victim of reverse racism, and being criticized just because he hangs out with black people. My initial reaction was the same as a lot of people: "Really?"
Okay, I'm really working on my self-restraint right now. I will not make fun of the friends who know that I have voicemail instead of an answering machine, yet still leave messages saying, "Are you there? Pick up the phone!" But you know who you are.
A number of people (granted, not a large number) were surprised by the news that reality TV celebrity couple Bruce and Kris Jenner, after 20+ years of marriage, have separated. Bruce reportedly moved out in June; speculation is that Kris only recently noticed.
A homeowner and his wife are being threatened with legal action by the parents of a teenage girl who became pregnant by another guest during an unsupervised house party where alcohol was readily available. While homeowners are indeed culpable for what goes on in their home, this just demonstrates what happens when there are more lawsuits than morals.
Agape' -- P
Friday, October 4, 2013
October 4, 2013
Not that I needed the self-esteem boost, but guess what I discovered after slobbing peanut butter off my finger? I taste great!
October is Breast Cancer Awareness month; I know that every little bit helps, but along with choosing to buy a product or service that will donate a small percentage of its profit to research, how about skipping on the purchase and donating the entire cost yourself?
This isn't a political statement, but it amuses me that the administration made a point of announcing that, during the government shutdown, no interns will be in the west wing of the oval office, possibly because of what happened the last time.
One of the scheduled events that has been cancelled because of the government shutdown is a rally for the Klu Klux Klan scheduled for a Gettysburg national park. Some have expressed surprise that the KKK is still around; some aren't surprised at all.
AMC movie theaters has announced that federal employees who are on the unpaid furlough because of the government shutdown will be able to get a free small popcorn at their theaters. While they said buying a movie ticket is not necessary, how many people are going to travel to the movie theater just to get a free small popcorn?
I don't get that people are surprised that Miley Cyrus has admitted that her antics are a calculated bid for attention. I thought that was obvious. Personally, I'm just turned off by the message that infamy is better than good taste. But that's just me.
Yet another note to Justin Bieber: not only is having your bodyguards carry you up the Great Wall of China way disrespectful, but it way contradicts your "I'm a tough guy" image campaign.
A Montana man's dog ate five $100 bills. The owner waited days, analyzed his pet's poop, collected the soiled, shredded fragments, washed them, dried them, pasted them together, mailed them to the U.S. Treasury (imagine the person who opened that envelope), and was reimbursed with a $500 check. While I am certainly happier that I don't have any bills for my dog to eat, I can't help wondering how much money my dog would have to eat for me to go through that. How about you? By the way, the owner was quoted as actually saying, "It was great to get the check after all the crap I went through."
It's like washing your car to make it rain; the moment you start to feel compassion for a person with so little character that they repeatedly hurt you, they do it again. But you're in good company; it happens to Jehovah, too.
Did you know that there's an annual festival in Massachusetts celebrating marshmallow Fluff, and a movement to get the Fluffernutter named the state sandwich? I hate feeling left out of news that really matters!
Agape' -- P
October is Breast Cancer Awareness month; I know that every little bit helps, but along with choosing to buy a product or service that will donate a small percentage of its profit to research, how about skipping on the purchase and donating the entire cost yourself?
This isn't a political statement, but it amuses me that the administration made a point of announcing that, during the government shutdown, no interns will be in the west wing of the oval office, possibly because of what happened the last time.
One of the scheduled events that has been cancelled because of the government shutdown is a rally for the Klu Klux Klan scheduled for a Gettysburg national park. Some have expressed surprise that the KKK is still around; some aren't surprised at all.
AMC movie theaters has announced that federal employees who are on the unpaid furlough because of the government shutdown will be able to get a free small popcorn at their theaters. While they said buying a movie ticket is not necessary, how many people are going to travel to the movie theater just to get a free small popcorn?
I don't get that people are surprised that Miley Cyrus has admitted that her antics are a calculated bid for attention. I thought that was obvious. Personally, I'm just turned off by the message that infamy is better than good taste. But that's just me.
Yet another note to Justin Bieber: not only is having your bodyguards carry you up the Great Wall of China way disrespectful, but it way contradicts your "I'm a tough guy" image campaign.
A Montana man's dog ate five $100 bills. The owner waited days, analyzed his pet's poop, collected the soiled, shredded fragments, washed them, dried them, pasted them together, mailed them to the U.S. Treasury (imagine the person who opened that envelope), and was reimbursed with a $500 check. While I am certainly happier that I don't have any bills for my dog to eat, I can't help wondering how much money my dog would have to eat for me to go through that. How about you? By the way, the owner was quoted as actually saying, "It was great to get the check after all the crap I went through."
It's like washing your car to make it rain; the moment you start to feel compassion for a person with so little character that they repeatedly hurt you, they do it again. But you're in good company; it happens to Jehovah, too.
Did you know that there's an annual festival in Massachusetts celebrating marshmallow Fluff, and a movement to get the Fluffernutter named the state sandwich? I hate feeling left out of news that really matters!
Agape' -- P
Friday, September 27, 2013
September 27, 2013
You're never going to get where you want to be dwelling on the road you didn't take.
Former New England Patriot Brian Holloway discovered that teenagers broke into his vacation home and threw a wild party (complete with alcohol, weed, and meth), creating $20,000-$40,000 in property damage, and posted several pictures on social media. Holloway reposted a lot of the pictures on his own website. Now, some of the parents are threatening to sue because they believe the exposure could endanger the teenagers' chances of getting into college. Now that is nerve.
This is why I used to call these random thoughts: it occurs to me that before beatboxing became popular, fewer people were willing to spit into their hands in public.
Rihanna unknowingly put her life in danger last week by posing for this picture with a loris, an endangered Southeast Asian animal who carries a toxin that, when it comes into contact with humans, puts them into anaphylactic shock. Ironically, the picture was taken to promote Loris Awareness Week. Well done.
Butterball (no, I'm not referring to myself in the third person) is making history by hiring men to work the annual turkey hotline for the Thanksgiving holiday. Though I don't observe the holiday, the pressure it places on cooks mystifies me. Isn't turkey disasters the reason we have Asian restaurants and frozen pizzas?
Can you cite 'medical reasons' as an excuse to limit your exposure to people who make you sick?
I know that some people are calling New York Giants cornerback Prince Amukamar the "black Tim Tebow" because of his stand on chastity, but I'd be a little nervous being nicknamed after someone who got cut from his team after three games.
While I think actor James Franco's fake papparazzi photo campaign is a clever expression against media hype and a lack of privacy, I sure am glad we aren't friends.
When I was growing up, bad kids got whupped (not whipped, but certainly not spanked). The only spanking I knew of was a dance move from the disco era. Now spanks are compression undergarments. No wonder the English language is hard for so many people.
A bear walks into a bar. He's told to leave. He complies. It's no joke, it actually happened at this Alaska tavern. I guess they take that "No shirt,no shoes, no service" sign very seriously. Although, it didn't loo like there was much going on there; I probably would have gone, too.
Agape' -- P
Former New England Patriot Brian Holloway discovered that teenagers broke into his vacation home and threw a wild party (complete with alcohol, weed, and meth), creating $20,000-$40,000 in property damage, and posted several pictures on social media. Holloway reposted a lot of the pictures on his own website. Now, some of the parents are threatening to sue because they believe the exposure could endanger the teenagers' chances of getting into college. Now that is nerve.
This is why I used to call these random thoughts: it occurs to me that before beatboxing became popular, fewer people were willing to spit into their hands in public.
Rihanna unknowingly put her life in danger last week by posing for this picture with a loris, an endangered Southeast Asian animal who carries a toxin that, when it comes into contact with humans, puts them into anaphylactic shock. Ironically, the picture was taken to promote Loris Awareness Week. Well done.
Butterball (no, I'm not referring to myself in the third person) is making history by hiring men to work the annual turkey hotline for the Thanksgiving holiday. Though I don't observe the holiday, the pressure it places on cooks mystifies me. Isn't turkey disasters the reason we have Asian restaurants and frozen pizzas?
Can you cite 'medical reasons' as an excuse to limit your exposure to people who make you sick?
I know that some people are calling New York Giants cornerback Prince Amukamar the "black Tim Tebow" because of his stand on chastity, but I'd be a little nervous being nicknamed after someone who got cut from his team after three games.
While I think actor James Franco's fake papparazzi photo campaign is a clever expression against media hype and a lack of privacy, I sure am glad we aren't friends.
When I was growing up, bad kids got whupped (not whipped, but certainly not spanked). The only spanking I knew of was a dance move from the disco era. Now spanks are compression undergarments. No wonder the English language is hard for so many people.
A bear walks into a bar. He's told to leave. He complies. It's no joke, it actually happened at this Alaska tavern. I guess they take that "No shirt,no shoes, no service" sign very seriously. Although, it didn't loo like there was much going on there; I probably would have gone, too.
Agape' -- P
Friday, September 20, 2013
September 20, 2013
My snack budget was low last week, and I couldn't decide between Cracker Jack, Fiddle Faddle, and Crunch 'n' Munch. The last time I had a headache like this was the Twizzler/Red Vines conundrum of 2010.
Look, Jaden Smith, you're not the first 15-year-old to think that school is dumb. But you're the first I've ever heard say that newborn babies would be the most intelligent beings on the planet if they could only talk. Mmmm... maybe it's not the school that's dumb.
It's official: the engagement between rising movie heartthrob Liam Helmsworth and marathon-twerking, teddy bear grinding, foam finger molesting, sledgehammer sucking, nude wrecking ball riding Miley Cyrus is officially over. Go figure.
While I'm as disturbed as the next person that Gwyneth Paltrow was awarded a motorcycle license days after a video went viral of her cutting off a school bus while riding a Vespa with her child on the seat behind her (almost giving new meaning to the term "road Apple"), what I found most shocking was that, in Hollywood, you're allowed to retake your license picture if you want. This is an outrage!
The British town of Northampton is currently being freaked out by repeated sightings of a man standing around dressed as a clown. See? That's what I like bringing to you: stories about people with real problems.
It would not surprise me one bit to find out that every male courtroom judge and TV news anchor has at least once tried, or at least fantasized about, spending a day doing their job without any pants.
A Chicago woman is suing Epic restaurant for $50,000 after one of her breast implants deflated during the night, allegedly because of a hug from the restaurant's doorman, a former college football lineman who weighs about 300 pounds. I don't buy it; a real man would've gotten both sides.
There should be a law against promoting your restaurant's great delivery service in areas where you refuse to deliver. Are you listening, Domino's, Pizza Hut, Papa John's, and Jimmy John's?
Did you know that September 19 was International Talk Like A Pirate Day? I don't think a lot of people remembered, because nobody talked like a pirate to me.
New York City's plan to replace their taxis with Nissan's "Taxi of Tomorrow" has brought up a lot of questions: will the roomier, more comfortable vehicles cause a hike in fares? Since the vehicle is technically a van, will accommodations for the disabled be mandatory? But I have yet to hear the obvious question: will people of color be able to ride them?
Agape' -- P
Look, Jaden Smith, you're not the first 15-year-old to think that school is dumb. But you're the first I've ever heard say that newborn babies would be the most intelligent beings on the planet if they could only talk. Mmmm... maybe it's not the school that's dumb.
It's official: the engagement between rising movie heartthrob Liam Helmsworth and marathon-twerking, teddy bear grinding, foam finger molesting, sledgehammer sucking, nude wrecking ball riding Miley Cyrus is officially over. Go figure.
While I'm as disturbed as the next person that Gwyneth Paltrow was awarded a motorcycle license days after a video went viral of her cutting off a school bus while riding a Vespa with her child on the seat behind her (almost giving new meaning to the term "road Apple"), what I found most shocking was that, in Hollywood, you're allowed to retake your license picture if you want. This is an outrage!
The British town of Northampton is currently being freaked out by repeated sightings of a man standing around dressed as a clown. See? That's what I like bringing to you: stories about people with real problems.
It would not surprise me one bit to find out that every male courtroom judge and TV news anchor has at least once tried, or at least fantasized about, spending a day doing their job without any pants.
A Chicago woman is suing Epic restaurant for $50,000 after one of her breast implants deflated during the night, allegedly because of a hug from the restaurant's doorman, a former college football lineman who weighs about 300 pounds. I don't buy it; a real man would've gotten both sides.
There should be a law against promoting your restaurant's great delivery service in areas where you refuse to deliver. Are you listening, Domino's, Pizza Hut, Papa John's, and Jimmy John's?
Did you know that September 19 was International Talk Like A Pirate Day? I don't think a lot of people remembered, because nobody talked like a pirate to me.
New York City's plan to replace their taxis with Nissan's "Taxi of Tomorrow" has brought up a lot of questions: will the roomier, more comfortable vehicles cause a hike in fares? Since the vehicle is technically a van, will accommodations for the disabled be mandatory? But I have yet to hear the obvious question: will people of color be able to ride them?
Agape' -- P
Friday, September 13, 2013
September 13, 2013
Should we feel sorry for people who have two faces, but only one head?
Okay, I'm all for using fame to
provide mass responsible health advice, but is anybody going to drink an extra glass
of water each day just because Michelle Obama says we should?
There is an often-used argument
that marijuana should be legal because there are more tragedies due to
alcohol than there are due to smoking weed. But unless you somehow
factor in that a lot of people are turning to alcohol instead of weed
because weed is illegal, do those statistics tell an accurate story?
By the way, I don't use marijuana; my cravings for Funyuns come naturally. But I just heard someone defend the use of marijuana for police and medical personnel because of job-related stress. Is it just me, or is that scary?
I'm going to break a promise I never mentioned by posting a link to this video about twerking. Thanks, Jimmy Kimmel.
Reactions are mixed about the
mother who used public humiliation to punish her 11-year-old daughter
for twerking at a school dance after being told not to. I don't have an
opinion on the punishment, but the outfit your daughter chose for the
punishment is a huge red flag.
See, Miley Cyrus? You put out videos with you riding naked on a wrecking ball just causes reactions like this!
Burger King is selling a new
burger with french fries on it. Wow, what a concept. And here I thought
selling frozen PB&J sandwiches was a dunb idea.
I'm not always big on pranks, but I love this ad campaign for LG.
I got a headache this week, trying to choose between Cracker Jack, Crunch & Munch, and Fiddle Faddle.
Agape' -- P
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