September 27, 2013

You're never going to get where you want to be dwelling on the road you didn't take.

Former New England Patriot Brian Holloway discovered that teenagers broke into his vacation home and threw a wild party (complete with alcohol, weed, and meth), creating $20,000-$40,000 in property damage, and posted several pictures on social media. Holloway reposted a lot of the pictures on his own website. Now, some of the parents are threatening to sue because they believe the exposure could endanger the teenagers' chances of getting into college. Now that is nerve.

This is why I used to call these random thoughts: it occurs to me that before beatboxing became popular, fewer people were willing to spit into their hands in public.

Rihanna unknowingly put her life in danger last week by posing for this picture with a loris, an endangered Southeast Asian animal who carries a toxin that, when it comes into contact with humans, puts them into anaphylactic shock. Ironically, the picture was taken to promote Loris Awareness Week. Well done.

Butterball (no, I'm not referring to myself in the third person) is making history by hiring men to work the annual turkey hotline for the Thanksgiving holiday. Though I don't observe the holiday, the pressure it places on cooks mystifies me. Isn't turkey disasters the reason we have Asian restaurants and frozen pizzas?

Can you cite 'medical reasons' as an excuse to limit your exposure to people who make you sick?

I know that some people are calling New York Giants cornerback Prince Amukamar the "black Tim Tebow" because of his stand on chastity, but I'd be a little nervous being nicknamed after someone who got cut from his team after three games.

While I think actor James Franco's fake papparazzi photo campaign is a clever expression against media hype and a lack of privacy, I sure am glad we aren't friends.

When I was growing up, bad kids got whupped (not whipped, but certainly not spanked). The only spanking I knew of was a dance move from the disco era. Now spanks are compression undergarments. No wonder the English language is hard for so many people.

A bear walks into a bar. He's told to leave. He complies. It's no joke, it actually happened at this Alaska tavern. I guess they take that "No shirt,no shoes, no service" sign very seriously. Although, it didn't loo like there was much going on there; I probably would have gone, too.

Agape' -- P