Friday, April 26, 2013

April 26, 2013

Has anyone who's ever been hurt found comfort in the words "They meant well"?

Note to Beyonce: celebrities who demand that no one publish unflattering photos of them only encourage people to take unflattering photos of them.

It's ironic that actress Reese Witherspoon asked the officer arresting her for disorderly conduct "Do you know who I am?" because now, everybody does.

From the Integrity in Media Department: People magazine has named actress Gwyneth Paltrow the world's most beautiful woman, "coincidentally" just in time for the release of Iron Man 3. No offense to Ms. Paltrow, but I personally know dozens of women who I assume weren't on the planet when this decision was made.

Vanilla Ice will be starring in a new "reality" show titled Vanilla Ice Goes Amish, where the one-hit rapper will move into an Amish community. Ironically, his neighbors are, by nature, protected from seeing this show.

The Live Below the Line campaign is encouraging people to live on a daily food budget of $1.50 per day for five days to increase awareness of the 1,400,000,000 people living below the poverty line worldwide. If you're already aware (which you are if you read the previous sentence), wouldn't it be more helpful to donate money to efforts to improve their living conditions?

A woman who went to the bathroom at a zoo in Kansas came face to face with a 250-lb. tiger that had escaped its cage. Reports say that the woman calmly turned around, and left the bathroom to alert zoo workers. I have a feeling that first, she went to the bathroom again.

A New York man who went to the police station to report his I-phone stolen was surprised when he called the number, and police heard it ringing from a holding cell. It turns out that the thief, who'd been arrested on a different burglary charge, had hidden the phone in his rectum. I could make all kinds of jokes about this being an actual booty call, or wanting to know what cell provider gives such powerful coverage, but I just want to remind everyone: if you're going to hide a phone in any bodily orifice, set it to vibrate.

Virgin Airlines has introduced a new text messaging service to encourage passengers to flirt with one another during flights. Remember the days when the only person you had to worry about annoying you was the one in the next seat?

Within one minute of a false tweet about a White House explosion that injured President Obama (the Twitter account for the Associated Press was hacked), the Dow Jones plummeted more than 100 points. This demonstrates the vulnerable side of technology, and the need to temper our reliance on it with common sense.

Agape' -- P

Thursday, April 18, 2013

April 19, 2013

Am I just incredibly anal, or does it annoy anyone else when a movie that isn't even in theaters yet is advertised as "the best movie of 2013" in the middle of April?

Somebody save me from people who are so into their own hidden agendas that they can't even answer a simple question because they're too busy trying to figure out what you really mean.

How many of us have chosen that relationship where you see that gentle side that no one else sees, but you forget about the repulsive side that everybody else sees? Because you're going to have to deal with that side, too.

Thanks to mobile credit card apps, people are using plastic to pay for prostitution. Wouldn't it be ironic if this was the future that Steve Jobs and Bill Gates wanted?

This is my last chance to blog this before his reality TV show premieres next week: Does anyone really care about What Would Ryan Lochte Do?

I was impressed by Kid Rock's announcement that he would drop the ticket prices for his concert tour to $20 as a protest for the ticket prices for Jay-z and Justin Timberlake's tour, which range betwern $50 and $250+. Ironically, I'm not interested in going to any concert, even for $20. But I'm still impressed.

Three men were seized by religious police during s heritage and cultural festival in Saudi Arabia, and were deported from the country, because they were reportedly so handsome, the authorities were worried that the women would not be able to resist them. I know I give everyone the impression that it's because I can't afford it, but this is the real reason i don't travel... too much responsibility.

After 25 years on TV, and helping track down 1,100 real fugitives, America's Most Wanted has been cancelled. Meanwhile, there are dozens of lawsuit-over-unpaid-debts court shows, several you-are/are-not-the-daddy talk shows, and dozens of follow-me-while-I-find-someone-to-fight/hookup-with "reality" shows. Just giving the viewing public what it wants.

An anti-circumcision group known as the Canadian Foreskin Awareness Project (I could not make this stuff up) is criticizing Oprah Winfrey for endorsing a face cream that uses human circumcision discards as a product ingredient. Remember when the cattle industry went after Oprah for a spontaneous statement about red meat? Talk about irony!

I am loathe to give the impression that I'm minimizing or trivializing the tragedies of the Boston bombings or the Texas plant explosion this week. But I will say this: don't put off giving a hug to someone you love today.

Agape' -- P

Friday, April 12, 2013

April 12, 2013

If you truly believe that Christ died for all mankind, is there any stranger who doesn't at least deserve your respect?

Between the new social media trend of posting pictures of dogs wearing tights or panty hose, and the underground business of selling ferrets on steroids as toy poodles, this certainly isn't a week for kindness to animals. How bizarre can things be?

A New York street performer dressed as the Cookie Monster insisted on posing for a picture with a 2-year-old, then asked the boy's mother for $2. When she couldn't pay, he verbally assaulted her, and shoved her son to the ground, for which he was promptly arrested. Another street performer dressed as Dora the Explorer waited until after the arrest to approach the mother for money, too. Again, I ask, how bizarre can things be?

Wesley Snipes was released from federal prison this week after being jailed in 2010 for not paying income taxes. Wesley will be under house arrest for the rest of his sentence, which ends in July. In this current Bobby Brown/Lindsay Lohan courthouse revolving door climate, did anyone even remember Wesley Snipes was in prison?

A New Zealand film lover was awarded a refund after complaining that a scene that appeared in the trailer for the film Jack Reacher was cut from the final film. A United Airlines flight was diverted so that a family with young children could be removed by police after the parents complained that the in-flight movie Alex Cross was inappropriate for children. The moral of the story? I don't know, but I do know that I've endured a lot of rotten movies and got nothing.

It cracks me up that some consumers from West Virginia are complaining about negative cultural stereotypes being perpetuated by the MTV reality show Buck Wild (which, by the way, has been cancelled following the recent, tragic death of its star, Shain Gandee, which should be the bigger issue). Negative cultural stereotypes is something that people of color have been dealing with for centuries.

Just when you thought it was safe to watch the news: it was all over the headlines last week that Justin Bieber is wearing bangs again. And you were there.

Also making headlines last week was the scandal over Rutgers athletic director verbally and physically assaulting players during basketball practice. Of course, it is wrong for coaches to attack players in their charge. However, this has been going on for decades, and was not a well-kept secret. Is the general public only now finding this egregious?

LL Cool J and Brad Paisley have collaborated on a song called The Accidental Racist. The idea is supposedly to address a chasm between the historically divergent groups of southern people and black people. But, with lyrics like "If you don't judge my do-rag, I won't judge your red flag" and "If you don't judge my gold chains, I'll forget the iron chains", is it really going to bridge the gap, or just make it wider?

Laugh. You'll feel better.

Agape' -- P

Friday, April 5, 2013

April 5, 2013

Given: what you feel is not a choice (at least not initially). But what you do is a choice (and totally in your control).

Who decided to rewrite the dictionary? It seems the words tolerance, support, intolerance, and neutrality have been confused a lot lately. If I disagree with the choices you make, but also disagree with anyone trying to stop you, does that make me intolerant?

Let's get something straight: anyone can post anything on social media any number of times. Yet, important daily decisions are made in business and government and science based on social media statistics. Does anyone else find this bizarre?

Samoa Air, an airline based in Samoa (duh) calculates passenger airfare based on a passenger's weight plus the weight of their baggage. I find it totally ironic, since the airline shares its name with the tastiest Girl Scout cookie ever. If the pay-by-the-pound paradigm catches on, I want to warn all my loved ones in other lands: get Skype, because otherwise you may never see me again.

A Michigan couple staged a domestic murder as an April Fool's Day prank so well that their friends called 911, resulting in police from 4 surrounding police departments responding within minutes. Yet, police in California are still having problems with people swatting (intentionally pranking police).

An 18-year-old Kentucky teen was cited for running into a bingo parlor and yelling "Bingo!" as a prank. His punishment is a court order that he not utter the word "Bingo" for six months. Your tax dollars at work, people.

A leaked environmental study reveals that a number of urban areas have anti-depressant residue in their tap water. The source: recycled toilet water from users who have poured their medicine into the toilet or who have eliminated it from their systems naturally (if you know what I mean). So, if water filtration systems aren't catching medications while cleaning and redirecting your drinking water, what else isn't getting caught?

Police in Moscow are trying to crack down on "ambulance taxis", luxury-style coaches disguised as ambulances that wealthy people are hiring at $200 per hour to get through bumper-to-bumper traffic. The irony of it is that police first learned of this service when they stopped one of these vehicles for breaking a traffic law. And, no, this is not an April Fool's prank.

Following an announcement from film actor Ryan Gosling that he would be taking a break from acting to focus on directing, a telephone hotline was set up with an audio recording of Gosling's scenes from The Notebook. The purpose of the hotline is to help his throngs of female fans who expect to go through "Ryan Gosling withdrawal." And no, this is not an April Fool's prank either.

The moral? April Fool's pranksters would really need to up their game to top the reality found in your local newspapers.

Agape' -- P