Friday, February 28, 2014

February 28, 2014

From the wish-I'd-thought-of-this department: an enterprising girl scout made headlines by selling 117 boxes of cookies in two hours by setting up her stand in front of a medical marijuana clinic in San Francisco. Since the news broke, girl scouts across the country are doing the same, forcing Girl Scouts associations to remind the public that the Girl Scout Code does not encourage sales outside adult-oriented businesses. Never mind debates on whether weed should be legal, or if it's more dangerous than alcohol (we hear enough on that controversy all the time anyway), but in my opinion, this was downright brilliant!

A dentist in Japan is facing criminal charges after reportedly escorting a female patient into a private room to massage her breasts in order to straighten her crooked teeth. I never believe in blaming the victim in a case of sexual assault. However, ladies, some of you have got to wise up.

A spelling bee contest in Missouri ended in a draw Saturday after the organizers ran out of words before either of the last two student competitors could be eliminated after 66 rounds. I'm usually pretty secure, but stories like this just make me feel like a doofus.

Remember the Dudley DooRight hat that Pharrell wore to the Grammys? He has put it up for auction on Ebay, and the bidding has exceeded the $15,000 mark. Pharrell has promised 100% of the proceeds to his charity, From One Hand to Another, which provides arts and educational resources for children. I think that, if this was his plan all along, it was brilliant! 

Is it bizarre that, while I had no interest in seeing the movies Gravity or The Wolf of Wall Street , I'm really interested in Muppets Most Wanted and Peabody and Sherman?

Group selfies are being blamed for a reported increase in the spread of head lice among teenagers. Yet another result of the horrors of technology.

There is a group of Albanian women who have taken a pledge to live like, dress like, and work like men, assuming the legal rights and privileges of men, for the rest of their lives. The pledge also includes celibacy. These women are reporting that their lifestyle is a choice, and that they weren't born this way. There goes their musical support from Lady Gaga.

A 10-year-old Norwegian boy who stole his parents' car and drove it into a ditch last week, and told police that he was actually a dwarf who'd left his driver's license at home, was caught again. This time, he stole the car of a visiting relative, and had even taken his 18-month-old sister along. In my opinion, a 10-year-old car thief/kidnapper ought to be a smarter liar.

Alec Baldwin announced his plans to leave New York to get away from the publicity machine (by the way, Alec, if you want to avoid the publicity machine, do it quietly). While this is bad news for the papparazzi who make money provoking him to physically attack them, it's good news for their insurance providers.

And now, a message that may or may not be directed to anyone in particular: no, you don't have to be gay to throw an Oscar party, but no thanks, I won't be able to make it.

Agape' -- P

Friday, February 21, 2014

February 21, 2014

An elderly man on his deathbed advised his great-grandchildren: "When you look back on your life, if there were more people who treated you with kindness than there were people who didn't, that was a successful life." However, I think that the measure of that kind of success depends more on how we treat others instead of how they treated us.

It would be tragic to allow the abundance of indecency around us to prevent us from expecting people to behave decently. Indecency spreads faster when people get used to it.

A Tampa, Florida man was practicing his turkey calls while walking through a wildlife management area when he was mistakenly shot twice by a hunter. Is there such a thing as being too good at something?

Trade-based organizations are reporting that the number of clowns in this country is decreasing. I just think they're not looking in the right places; admit it, don't each of us know a few clowns?

A 23-year-old single mom says she was fired from her job at a New York McDonald's because she and two co-workers dipped into their own pockets to buy $153 worth of food for two firefighter crews after being told that the food could not be donated to the first responders, who'd been fighting two fires in the freezing temperatures. Ironically, since going viral with her story, the fired worker has been receiving several job offers. Good deeds are sometimes rewarded after they go punished.

So, which item creeps you out more: the Makeout-Practice pillow designed to make you a better kisser, or hairy stockings intended to deflect unwanted attention to your legs? My advice: save your money, find a real person to kiss, and wear pants.

A talking lizard, a quacking duck, people materializing upon hearing a song (and don't get me started on that woman, Flo)... who decided that insurance commercials were supposed to be funny? But none of them are more disturbing than the one where the two daughters hurry to their parents' home after Dad has an accident and choose that moment to suggest they purchase "final expense insurance." Creepy...

Does it bother anyone that nearly 50% of the doctors in the U.S. are reportedly consulting Wikipedia to diagnose patients? Maybe we're healthier than we've been told! Or maybe we're sicker. Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

A South Carolina woman was released on a $2000 bond after one night in jail for never returning a VHS copy of the movie Monster-in-Law to the video store where she rented it in 2005. I hope she remembered that it's kind to rewind.

And now, a message that may or may not be directed to anyone in particular: forgive your friends from laughing, and just remember next time, wine isn't served in a giraffe.

Agape' -- P