Friday, December 28, 2012

December 28, 2012

Take care; even eternal life can be squandered.

According to statistics, 80% of living Americans over 100 years old are women. See, women? In this world, you always get the last word.

I love gummi bears and gummi worms as much as the next guy, but I`m a grown man. You can give me the regular vitamins.

A recent Nielsen study reveals that 1/3 of Americans are using social media from the bathroom. I have two things to say about this: (1) I will never do this. (2) If you do this, please don`t tell me.

When will people (especially celebrities) learn, if you have to get drunk, party at home?

The soon-to-be ex-wife of CSI creator Anthony Zuiker is expected to be awarded a sizeable chunk of the $6,000,000,000 he`s worth when their 20-year marriage soon ends in divorce. Ironically, she discouraged him from selling the CSI concept which made them rich. The message? Prenups aren`t just for the wealthy.

Okay, have we heard enough about the Chris Brown/Rihanna reunion? At this point, What`s Love Got to Do With It? (pun definitely intended)

A teenage girl in New Jersey has petitioned Hasbro to design an EasyBake oven for boys (the current model only comes in pink). Somebody enlighten this girl that there are better ways to make cupcakes than with a lightbulb.

Clay Aiken has his Claynation, Hulk Hogan his Hulkamaniacs, and Justin Bieber his Beliebers. Have you ever wondered what you`d call your fans if you reached megastar status? I think mine would be... delusional.

Some people prefer waffles to pancakes, some prefer salt to sugar... as a fat man, I beg you, "Can`t we all just get along?"

Agape` -- P

Friday, December 21, 2012

December 21, 2012

Lindsay Lohan sent roses to Charlie Sheen to thank him for the $100,000 he gave her to pay her IRS debt. This was after he publicly slammed her for not thanking him. Her excuse was that she lost his phone number when her phone broke. With excuses like that, is it any wonder that she`s always in trouble with the law?

The Christmas holiday season is almost over. Soon, the premise that you can buy the love of the people in your life will be temporarily replaced by the premise that you can ensure a happier year by not being alone when the year begins.

Hatred does not crush your spirit... insignificance does.

A company known as Baubles has marketed scrotum-shaped Christmas tree ornaments to raise awareness of testicular cancer. Further proof that you don`t have to be tasteful to support a worthy cause.

ABC is developing a sitcom based on the adolescence of 18-year-old Justin Bieber, focusing on his unorthodox experience of being raised by a single mom. Nevermind that he`s still an adolescent. Nevermind that there are millions of people currently being raised by single parents. How do they greenlight ideas like this, while they cancel quality programming?

Several discussions were sparked last week by ESPN commentator Rob Parker`s reference to Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III as a "cornbread brother" because Griffin is a black man engaged to marry a white woman. Parker, who is also black, did praise Griffin for wearing braids as an "authentic black person", but considers him not "down for the cause" because of his choice in women and possibly politics (he might be a Republican). Further proof that you can be foolish and have a career in television. Meanwhile, how ironic is it that Griffin plays for a team named after a slur against native Americans?

There are exponentially more people treated like crap than there are people who deserve to be treated like crap.

Last week, numerologists anticipated the date of December 12, 2012, because the next date with digital significance won't occur until January 1, 3001 (1/1/01). This week, it's December 21, 2012, anticipated by followers of the Mayan calendar, as well as, perhaps, numerologists with dyslexia.

How do you reach that level of celebrity that makes you forget (or not care about) underwear? Don't complain about papparazzi invading your privacy when you don't wear drawers to an event where you know you'll be photographed.

My heart goes out to those suffering after the horror of last week's tragedy in Connecticut. Have you noticed that people immediately try to place or deflect blame? Was it caused by violent entertainment? Who is responsible, the producers, or the consumers? Is it the fault of legislators who don't write stronger gun laws, ineffective law enforcement, or an imperfect judicial network? How do stronger gun laws affect people psychotic enough to break the laws alrrady in place? And is the concentration on placing or deflecting blame overshadowing the tragedy?

Agape' - P

Friday, December 14, 2012

December 14, 2012

Charlie Sheen revealed to the press that Lindsay Lohan has yet to thank him for the $100,000 he gave her to pay a huge IRS debt. Ordinarily, I couldn't care less, but come on, how bad are your manners that Charlie Sheen can call you out on being rude?

I don't advocate immodesty or indecency, but have you ever noticed that the people who walk around in the least amount of clothing are usually the ones who need the most amount of clothing?

I know I'm the one to blame, but I still rue the day I learned how easy it is to operate my deep fryer.

I don't mind that my standards dictate the entertainment I choose, but I refuse to believe I'm supposed to enjoy something because of my age, race, or nationality.

Why do people sing in the shower, but not in the tub?

How messed up is it that a store called Crate & Barrel sells neither crates nor barrels?

This week was the 20th anniversary of the text message. It was also the week that the Pope made his first tweet. And you were there.

The much-anticipated date of December 12, 2012 occurred this week. A lot of people have been waiting for something of galactic enormity to happen on this date. I caught a cold.

If the phenomenon of reality TV has taught us anything, it is the power of the video editor.

Is it weird that I have no issues about losing at Words With Friends with real people, but get really ticked off when the 3 virtual people kick my behind playing Hearts?

Agape' -- P

Friday, December 7, 2012

December 7, 2012

I know that fascinating and interesting are two different things, but somebody please get Barbara Walters a dictionary, because Honey BooBoo is neither of the most of 2012.

It would be ideal to be both, but if you had to choose between being liked and being loved, I'd choose loved.

A frenchman named Dumas is aspiring to teach at a high school. I think he should change his name, don't you?

Sometimes, people make a big deal out of an act of kindness simply because they're not used to it.

86-year-old Hugh Hefner is engaged to marry the 26-year-old girlfriend who called off their wedding a year ago. Maybe she was waiting to get married a little older.

It tickles me, how local TV stations keep renaming news shows to compete with each other. I've seen Eyewitness News, Spotlight News, Snapshot News, etc. And then they spend a whole segment reporting that Eddie Cibrian's wife doesn't get along with his ex-wife.

She didn't tell anyone that she was hurting because it would hurt more to discover that no one cared.

In Great Britain, a 14-year-old was kicked off his soccer team for uttering one cuss word during a match, even after his mom produced a medical card proving he suffers from Tourette's. Ironically, if he lived in the U.S., that card would go for big bucks on the black market, but would probably never be needed.

I'm not in favor of lawsuits within a family, but I don't understand why the parents of a 41-year-old have to sue to evict him from their house.

holiday (n): a costly, calendar-driven, stress-inducing tradition usually employed to demonstrate warmth and caring that should be part of daily life, often celebrating pagan beliefs under a veneer of spirituality.

Agape' -- P