Friday, July 4, 2014

July 4, 2014

Sometimes, I think the fact that the end does not justify the means is used as an excuse to be reckless. A squirrel that gets run over is just as dead whether he was killed by accident or on purpose.

Do you find it disturbing that people often mention honesty as if it was the exception instead of the rule? It's not uncommon for people to preface comments with, "To be honest with you," or "Truthfully," or "I'm telling you the truth."

I have to admit, every time I hear about Hurricane Arthur, I picture an angry, bitter nerd who wants to get revenge on the bigger, more powerful storms that made fun of him.

Just after proposing to his girlfriend, Nathan's Hot Dogs eating champ Joey Chestnut ate 61 hot dogs in 10 minutes to win his eighth championship. Congratulations, Joey. Oh, by the way, she said yes!

The police in Casselberry, Florida, didn't have to work too hard to catch the two twenty-somethings accused of breaking into, and burglarizing, parked cars at a condo complex; the pair were found sleeping in their car parked at the scene of the crime, with the stolen goods in the trunk. I guess no one told them about the importance of the getaway?

Note to the scientists who recently announced that social media is to blame for an increase in infidelity: Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are not responsible for infidelity; people who cheat with people they contact trough Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are responsible for infidelity.

According to one of (!) his Hollywood agents, alleged gangbanger Jeremy Meeks, whose mug shot went viral and captured a staggering amount of media hype, reports that Meeks has accepted a modeling contract were premature and incorrect. While a contract was indeed offered, Meeks' management people (!) are reportedly hoping to get him into reality TV. Why am I not surprised?

A Washington pet store owner has promised to eat nothing but dog, cat, and bird food for a month to prove that pet food is as nutritious as food for humans. While I admire her conviction to prove her point, that is just crazy!

Note to Shia LeBouf: not every publicity is good publicity. Ask Robin Thicke.

Note that may be meant for someone in particular: I know people think that a flashy car means you're over-compensating, but no, I don't think that assumption works in reverse just because your car's a piece of junk.

Agape' -- P

Friday, June 27, 2014

June 27, 2014

People are divided over whether ot not Kanye West teaching a college course in fashion should qualify as community service sentence for attacking a paparazzo last year. I'm just worried that unemployed dedicated teachers will thus be inspired to attack people in public in an effort to get hired.

Am I the only one who gets a kick out of not hearing anything about the latest book/movie/album/TV show that "everybody's talking about"?

Contestants in the Miss America pageant are required to be between 17 and 24 years of age. However, age is the reported reason that Amanda Longacre, 24, who won the title of Miss Delaware, was stripped of her title and replaced with runner-up Brittany Lewis, who is also 24. The difference is that Longacre's 25th birthday is only one month after the Miss America competition in September. Okay, the rule isn't new, and Longacre's birthday didn't change. Why didn't somebody say something before she won the crown? Chin up, Amanda; no offense to Miss Lewis, but a lot more people recognize the name Vanessa Williams than the name Suzette Charles (no offense, Miss Charles).

A number of critics are upset that Disney star Zendaya has been chosen to portray the late singer Aaliyah in a Lifetime biopic. The criticism is that Zendaya is not "black enough." Really? Why do people keep doing this?

 Why are people surprised by Don Johnson's statement that he will not watch his daughter play the lead in 50 Shades of Grey? I think it'd be a bigger story if he was looking forward to it.

House Speaker John Boehner says he plans to sue the president for misuse of power. My first question is: have people always been able to do this? Did any of the former administrations know?

The fire department in Tuebingen, Germany, had to rescue a 20-year-old American exchange student after the young man got stuck in a sculpture of a vagina ousisde the university clinic. Although no equipment was needed to extricate the student, it did take half an hour to pull him out. Who says no one appreciates art any more?

Jeremy Meeks, a/k/a "Hot Mugshot Guy", has been offered a modeling contract from a top Los Angeles modeling agency, based mostly on reaction to his mug shot on social media. Of course, the job will be waiting for him when he gets out of jail. I guess getting arrested can actually be a career move?

Note to Harrison Ford, 71, who broke his leg filming the new Star Wars epic, and Sylvester Stallone, 67, who's planning a fifth Rambo movie: who do you guys think you are? Betty White?

Now, a word that may or may not be intended for someone in particular: if love means never having to say you're sorry, maybe we'd have a better relationship if you hated me a little.

Agape' -- P

Friday, June 20, 2014

June 20, 2014

Growing up, listening to the American Top 40 Countdown, or watching Shaggy on Scooby Doo... is there anybody who didn't know and love the voice of Casey Kasem?

Every encounter with a stranger runs the risk of dealing with someone with a beautiful heart or dealing with a real jerk. The only thing you can control is which one you will be.

It's the story that won't go away: an angry but lucid voicemail that Donald Sterling left his wife's lawyer casts doubt on medical claims that he is incompetent. Could the claim, which enabled his wife to sell the L.A. Clippers, be trumped up because of his well-known and established racism?

A Texas mother faces charges of drunk driving after four of the six children, ages ranging from 8 to 14, fell off the roof and trunk of the Chevy Malibu she was driving. home from a community swimming pool. The woman, who allegedly had the kids ride on the roof and trunk of the car to keep the car's upholstery dry, was unaware of the ones who'd fallen, and had to be alerted by a passerby.

A burglar was caught by Yorkshire police after the victim discovered the thief's false teeth in his home. The burglar, a 38-year-old heroin addict, was so drunk when he broke into the man's home that he forgot he took out his teeth and set them down. Don't you hate leaving things behind?

It's a sign of viral madness: a mug shot of 30-year-old Jeffrey Meeks, posted on Facebook by police in Stockton, C.A., has drawn more than 5,000 ogling comments, 1,000 shares, and over 65,000 likes, including comments that the chiseled features and steel-blue eyes of the 30-year-old felon is too hot to be illegal. By the way, Meeks was arrested on one gang charge and five weapons charges. Call me shortsighted, but I wouldn't want to be that attractive in prison.

The 20th anniversary of the OJ Simpson trial was recentlyacknowledged, and it occurred to me that that trial was the beginning of reality TV voyuerism. I wonder how many Keeping Up With The Kardashians fans know that there was even a connection.

I disagree with the recent Pantene ad campaign that proposes that the overuse of the word "sorry" is a woman's issue. First, there are a lot of men who overuse the word, too. Second, isn't it disrespecting women when you suggest they'll respond to such obvious pandering? And third: what does this have to do with buying shampoo?

Note to Donald Trump, who recently said during an interview that he didn't want to have sex with Jennifer Lopez or Angelina Jolie: don't worry, I think they'll be okay with that.

Note that may be meant for someone in particular: I don't care how bad the mosquitoes are, having someone to scratch the bites on your back isn't a good enough reason to get married.

Agape' -- P

Friday, June 13, 2014

June 13, 2014

Another beloved inspiration is gone, with the death of 91-year-old veteran actress/activist Ruby Dee. She truly was a star.

Another frankenfood, like the Cronut, has emerged from an eatery in New York's West Village: the ramenrrito, a burrito stuffed with ramen noodles instead of rice. While these unconventional combinations sound interesting, is it merely coincidence that they've begun popping up at the same time that marijuana is legal?

Remember those mannequins people would keep in their cars so they could drive in the car pool lane while driving alone? I think I want to get one to hold my table when I'm dining alone and go to the restroom.

The literary equivalent of rubbing it in: someone talking about Kylie and Kendall Jenner's book while you're suffering from writer's block.

Of the only two people whose approval you need... Jehovah's and yours... yours is the less important.

I am by no means a Belieber, but I have to give him his props; calling a bath a baptism to get absolution for those racist videos was a stroke of publicity genius.

We are all shaped by our own circumstances and experiences. I listened to two people debating (and getting nowhere) about the value of fathers. One was a father, the other, a great-grandmother who'd been abandoned by her father. Both spoke with passion and conviction, and neither of them would concede. For all I know, they're still arguing. I had things to do.

I know that if life gives you lemons, you're supposed to make lemonade. But life didn't give me water and sugar.

The truck driver who started the chain reaction vehicle crash that injured Tracy Morgan and killed one of his fellow passengers says that reports that he'd gone 24 hours without sleep were fabricated, and the criminal charges against him for the accident are an attempt to make him a scapegoat because of Morgan's celebrity. Whether that is true or not, the issue raised is a valid one: immediate access to information, the inability to verify facts, and the court of public opinion can easily taint any investigation.

Note that may be meant for someone in particular: none of the neighbors believes that you're trying to spread holiday cheer in June, so take down all those lights, okay?

Agape' -- P

Friday, June 6, 2014

June 6, 2014

Today is National Doughnut Day! Hope you're out there dunking something.

Being an individual does not mean going against the grain just for the sake of doing so. There's nothing individual about that.

It made headlines this week when the Pope revealed to the world that children are not the same as pets. And you were there.

There are a number of people saying that the two recently-revealed videos of a 15-year-old Justin Bieber repeating a racist joke and repeatedly using the "n-word" singing a parody of one of his songs does not mean he's a racist, and won't hurt his career. In other words, Paula Deen, you probably would still be on top if you'd just taken it a bit further.

A Memphis bride is using social media to defend her decision to attach her four-week-old baby to the train of her wedding dress before dragging her down the aisle at her wedding. Is there no DCFS or CPS in Tennessee?

Casper Smart and Jennifer Lopez have announced that their recent separation is not connected to the rumors about him flirting openly with transgenders or transsexuals on Instagram. Further proof that his last name may just be coincidental.

Beloved Brady Bunch star Ann B Davis, 88, died Sunday, after falling and hitting her head at home. The show would not have been the same without Alice.

A 91-year-old woman from Charlotte, NC, not only completed the 26-mile Rock 'n' Roll San Diego marathon this past Sunday, but she broke the record for her age group, by finishing in 7 hours, 7 minutes, and 42 seconds. I am so happy for her, but when I subtract my age from her age, then realize there are grandparents whose age is less than the difference... I just feel like a slug.

Statistics say that the average woman earns 23 cents less for every dollar earned by the average man. I would be more sympathetic, but apparently, I'm below average.

Note that may be meant for someone in particular: thanks for sharing that comment about incontinent bears in the rapids. You have officially ruined chocolate waterfalls for me.

Agape' -- P

Friday, May 30, 2014

May 30, 2014

Ricky Martin was quoted as saying that he received so much support when he came out of the closet that he wishes he could do it all over again. Suggested translation? "I haven't been in the news for a while. Don't forget me."

I have doubts about a recent study that suggests intellectual people stay up late, and engage in recreational sex and drug use. If this was true, Mensa would be full of narcotics addicted insomniacs loaded down with STDs.

I was watching reruns of hit TV shows and wondering whatever happened to Kim Parsons, Joseph Marcell, Yvonne Strahovski, and David Hyde-Pierce. Then, I suddenly realized that Dancing With the Stars has the potential to go on indefinitely. Shudder.

This week, in a nursing home in China, 113-year-old Azatihan Sawuti married her boyfriend, 70-year-old Aimtl Ahemti  (what a cougar). There have been no announcements regarding whether the couple plans to start a family. Personally, I think they're trying to steal the thunder from Kim and Kanye.

Millions are mourning the death of poet Maya Angelou, who inspired so many people in her 86 years. She was one person who demonstrated the power of words.

Note to 50 Cent: Don't let people sweat you over that bad first pitch at last Tuesday's Mets game. The public were a lot rougher on Roseanne Barr, and everybody knew what her voice was like.

25-year-old Ukranian serial prankster Vitalii Sediuk was arrested last week after hitting Brad Pitt in the face at the premiere of the movie Maleficent. Sediuk's history of red carpet celebrity attacks includes trying to kiss Will Smith in 2012, crashing the stage at the 2013 Grammy Awards, burying his face in Bradley Cooper's crotch this past January, attempting to do the same to Leonardo DiCaprio in February, and shoving his head up America Ferrare's skirt in Cannes just last week. Will somebody tell this guy that there are more legal and less creepy ways to become famous these days? And how does he keep getting so close to these people?

Note to Gwyneth Paltrow: even of you truly believe the ridicule of celebrities on the Internet equates you to soldiers at war (really?), that was an opinion best kept to yourself. And the day after Memorial Day was the worst time to share it.

Note to Charlize Theron: even if you truly believe the press intrusion in the lives of celebrities equates you to the suffering of rape victims (really???)... see above note to Gwyneth Paltrow.

And now, a not that may be meant for someone in particular: yes, you have a right to wallow in self-pity. But those who really care about you have a right not to watch.

Agape' -- P

Friday, May 23, 2014

May 23, 2014

I wonder if the baby mamas, celebrity exes, and real housewives of the last century feel left out because there wasn't reality television around when they were relevant adjacent.

Have you ever noticed how often the concept of instinct is mentioned in retrospect?

The Krispy Kreme triple cheeseburger, to be unveiled at the upcoming San Diego County Fair, is basically three patties topped with cheese and sandwiched between two Krispy Kreme doughnuts. The dish is being offered by Chicken Charlie's, a California state fair staple that also sells deep fried Oreos and Klondike bars. The suggested companion defibrillator, however, costs extra.

Many think that it's abhorrent to put personal comfort ahead of the welfare of a friend... then they do it anyway.

A new study reveals that red wine contains cavity-fighting anti-microbial elements. The same elements can apparently be found in non-alcoholic grape seed oil, but in the words of one commentator: "Who cares?"

The next time a salesman tries to sell me something I neither want nor need, I'm going to tell him/her that I'm holding out for the upcoming new and improved model.

Daytime TV, stripper pole exercise classes, lawyers... a lot of industries owe a big thank you to free enterprise and the new "morality."

One of the unintentional benefits of social media is that no one has to work up the courage to ask anyone for their opinion.

There are mixed reactions to a California high school history teacher who posed for a picture in the school yearbook wearing a hoodie and holding a bag of Skittles candy, in what he called a political statement about the late Trayvon Martin. Some say he was just expressing himself, while some say it was inappropriate for the school yearbook. I just wonder if anyone will even remember his reason years from now.

Note that may be meant for someone in particular: I'm sorry that your fancy spring brunch had to end early. Next time, either hold it outdoors, or, if you insist on getting assistance from your fratboy son, ask him to slice the cheese.

Agape' -- P