Whose idea was it to base restaurant tips on the bill? It seems unfair that the server who was Johnny-on-the-spot with my piping hot coffee and bear claw gets a smaller tip than the one who took down my order wrong, and made me wait for an ice-cold steak.
I despise false advertising; I was hungry one night, sang the State Farm jingle ("Like a good neighbor...")... still had to make my own doggone sandwich.
Some people may be buying that "too-old-to-care-for-my-duties" excuse, but maybe the pope is stepping down to devote more time to that Twitter account he opened a few months ago.
Most bizarre comment I heard this week was from Harvey Levin, who said that a black pope may help the Catholic church with its "public relations problem."
I just found out that Jolly Rancher also makes a fruity soft candy as well as the fruity hard candy I've known of for years. I better not find out that any of my friends knew about this and didn't tell me.
The TV show My Strange Addiction recently featured a woman so addicted to coffee enemas that she often has four of them a day! I know this may come as a surprise, but I consider that a deal-breaker.
It isn't fair; the twitterverse is all, well, atwitter, about film critic Rex Reed's deplorable comments calling Melissa McCarthy a hippo, but Donald Trump is supposed to overlook comedian Bill Maher's suggestion that Trump's father was an orangutan?
Speaking of Maher, he may not be forced to donate the $5 million to charity that he promised after Donald Trump proved his father was not an orangutan, but at the very least, he should send Trump a muffin basket for suing him and keeping his name in the headlines.
I couldn't help laughing at a mean (not obscene) joke I heard this week, when it occurred to me: I bet you, too, have at least once laughed at an inappropriate joke that you still find funny.
It's unwise to assess your brilliance by the collective intelligence of your peers; you may be hanging out with idiots.
Agape' -- P
Friday, February 15, 2013
Friday, February 8, 2013
February 8, 2013
Maybe if more of us thought before we spoke, fewer of us would respond to us with sarcasm. I know it'd give me a break.
Betty White had her 2nd annual 90th birthday on NBC this week. Do you have to be 90 to revisit your age? Because I'd love to see my 20's again.
Enjoyed SuperBowl 47 this week (btw, I know it's tradition, but the roman numerals are getting annoying), from the coin toss to the halftime show to the Destiny's Child reunion to the 49'ers almost comeback from behind to the Ravens' should-not-have-been-so close victory. Can't help wondering what happened during the 30-minute power blackout that either woke up the 49'ers or sedated the Ravens. I figure there'll be a lot of small talk at the next Harbaugh family dinner, huh?
What I would have loved to see: Papa Harbaugh offering 49'ers coach Jim Harbaugh a Lifesaver after the game.
Who I was rooting for: Beyonce. I don't know anyone in either San Francisco or Baltimore. I have loved ones in Cleveland, but I don't know how they feel about the Ravens. But I would have hated it had Beyonce's voice cracked during the halftime show.
Prediction #1: Jacoby Jones will appear on an upcoming Dancing With the Stars. Prediction #2: he won't be there long.
Was it just me, or were most of the SuperBowl commercials this year not very impressive?
Speaking of SuperBowl commercials #1: I find it ironic that all the cries of racism about the VW ad (where the white guy who owns a VW speaks with a Jamaican accent) are coming from people who aren't Jamaican.
Speaking of SuperBowl commercials #2: I could have been in that Calvin Klein underwear commercial, but everybody decided to go a different way.
As soon as the SuperBowl was over, apparel emblazoned with the slogan: Baltimore Ravens, SuperBowl XLVII Champions went on sale. So how do they recoup the money spent making apparel announcing that the 49'ers were SuperBowl 47 Champs? Maybe that's why the Ravens apparel costs twice as much.
Agape' -- P
Betty White had her 2nd annual 90th birthday on NBC this week. Do you have to be 90 to revisit your age? Because I'd love to see my 20's again.
Enjoyed SuperBowl 47 this week (btw, I know it's tradition, but the roman numerals are getting annoying), from the coin toss to the halftime show to the Destiny's Child reunion to the 49'ers almost comeback from behind to the Ravens' should-not-have-been-so close victory. Can't help wondering what happened during the 30-minute power blackout that either woke up the 49'ers or sedated the Ravens. I figure there'll be a lot of small talk at the next Harbaugh family dinner, huh?
What I would have loved to see: Papa Harbaugh offering 49'ers coach Jim Harbaugh a Lifesaver after the game.
Who I was rooting for: Beyonce. I don't know anyone in either San Francisco or Baltimore. I have loved ones in Cleveland, but I don't know how they feel about the Ravens. But I would have hated it had Beyonce's voice cracked during the halftime show.
Prediction #1: Jacoby Jones will appear on an upcoming Dancing With the Stars. Prediction #2: he won't be there long.
Was it just me, or were most of the SuperBowl commercials this year not very impressive?
Speaking of SuperBowl commercials #1: I find it ironic that all the cries of racism about the VW ad (where the white guy who owns a VW speaks with a Jamaican accent) are coming from people who aren't Jamaican.
Speaking of SuperBowl commercials #2: I could have been in that Calvin Klein underwear commercial, but everybody decided to go a different way.
As soon as the SuperBowl was over, apparel emblazoned with the slogan: Baltimore Ravens, SuperBowl XLVII Champions went on sale. So how do they recoup the money spent making apparel announcing that the 49'ers were SuperBowl 47 Champs? Maybe that's why the Ravens apparel costs twice as much.
Agape' -- P
Friday, February 1, 2013
February 1, 2013
I propose a beer commercial where guys discover that with every beer, the women around them turn into Beyonce. From what I know about beer goggles, that's a lot more realistic than that yogurt that's supposed to turn guys into John Stamos.
A person with character treats his/her loved ones with tenderness, even if they prefer to be mistreated.
Planning snacks for Super Bowl Sunday: I want spinach/sausage stuffed pizza, buffalo wings, Rolling Rock, and frozen chocolate custard. But I'm planning on baby carrots, sesame sticks, hummus, and iced tea. Reality can be a pain in the bottom, can't it?
Who you are now doesn't have to be who you always will be. Have you always been who you are now?
"Garbage in, garbage out" -- not necessarily true in parenting. Sometimes good parents raise rotten adults, and vice versa.
We are all the product of our experiences. When you think about it, we're all really amateurs.
I have absolutely no evidence of this, but it wouldn't surprise me to learn that the first person to ever use profanity was dealing with family.
Are you ready for the Earth-shattering entertainment news headlines of this week? Jim Nabors announced he was gay, and Randy Travis was sentenced to rehab. Please, nobody hit me with a feather, I might fall over.
How ironic is it that this year marks the 20th anniversary of the film Dazed and Confused, and its star, Jason London, does not quite remember the Arizona drunken bar brawl preceding his arrest last week for disorderly conduct and assault, which preceded him purposely soiling himself in the police car as he was being hauled away. It's like method acting in reverse.
The idea of wearing colors to raise awareness for causes sort of defeats itself when the number of causes is bigger than the numbers of colors. Red stands for heart disease as well as Aids and DUI; purple is for animal abuse, Alzheimer's, fibromyalgia, and domestic abuse; pink is for both breast and testicular cancer... why aren't more people just wearing plaid?
Agape' -- P
A person with character treats his/her loved ones with tenderness, even if they prefer to be mistreated.
Planning snacks for Super Bowl Sunday: I want spinach/sausage stuffed pizza, buffalo wings, Rolling Rock, and frozen chocolate custard. But I'm planning on baby carrots, sesame sticks, hummus, and iced tea. Reality can be a pain in the bottom, can't it?
Who you are now doesn't have to be who you always will be. Have you always been who you are now?
"Garbage in, garbage out" -- not necessarily true in parenting. Sometimes good parents raise rotten adults, and vice versa.
We are all the product of our experiences. When you think about it, we're all really amateurs.
I have absolutely no evidence of this, but it wouldn't surprise me to learn that the first person to ever use profanity was dealing with family.
Are you ready for the Earth-shattering entertainment news headlines of this week? Jim Nabors announced he was gay, and Randy Travis was sentenced to rehab. Please, nobody hit me with a feather, I might fall over.
How ironic is it that this year marks the 20th anniversary of the film Dazed and Confused, and its star, Jason London, does not quite remember the Arizona drunken bar brawl preceding his arrest last week for disorderly conduct and assault, which preceded him purposely soiling himself in the police car as he was being hauled away. It's like method acting in reverse.
The idea of wearing colors to raise awareness for causes sort of defeats itself when the number of causes is bigger than the numbers of colors. Red stands for heart disease as well as Aids and DUI; purple is for animal abuse, Alzheimer's, fibromyalgia, and domestic abuse; pink is for both breast and testicular cancer... why aren't more people just wearing plaid?
Agape' -- P
Friday, January 25, 2013
January 25, 2013
Mi casa is not really su casa until you start kicking in on el alquiler.
The slave action figures based on the movie D'Jango: Unchained have not only bern discontinued by the manufacturer, but also banned from Ebay, where some had been listed for auction by people who bought them before the line was stopped. What is a nostalgic Klansman who's into collectibles to do?
A 31-year-old Oxford mom called 911 after trying for an hour to get her head out of her child's high chair. Firefighters were able to free the mom, who also had a friend record the event. Did I mention that before putting on the high chair, she'd polished off a bottle or two of wine with her girlfriends? See? This is why there are no high chairs in my house.
First, the fascination with celebrity built an entire entertainment news industry. Then, along came TV competitions to make stars out of talented unknowns. Then, the increase in reality TV shows made stars out of unknowns with no talent. I think more and more people are measuring success with being famous.
I was watching a Different Strokes marathon (a tribute to Conrad Bain a/k/a Mr. Drummond, who died last week) when it dawned on me that Angelina Jolie, Madonna, and Sandra Bullock got all these props for adopting black babies, but there was no love for the trailblazers like Mr. Drummond and the couple who adopted Webster. Not fair.
Ronaiah Tulasosopo, who has confessed to being the mastermind of the hoax of an online romance with Manti Te'o, has revealed that his motivation was "intense emotional feelings" for Manti. In response, Manti is publicly and vehemently defending his heterosexuality. Once again, real life is proving more intense than fiction.
Whoever came up with the idea that corrupting the lyrics to classic hit songs would be useful in marketing? Tragic.
Another crime that often goes unpunished: dimming the stars in the eyes of an optimist.
Quietly ignoring mistreatment is like shaking a sealed can of beer; eventually, it's going to explode.
You are the one who defines who you are... even if that definition is someone who lets others define who you are.
Agape' -- P
The slave action figures based on the movie D'Jango: Unchained have not only bern discontinued by the manufacturer, but also banned from Ebay, where some had been listed for auction by people who bought them before the line was stopped. What is a nostalgic Klansman who's into collectibles to do?
A 31-year-old Oxford mom called 911 after trying for an hour to get her head out of her child's high chair. Firefighters were able to free the mom, who also had a friend record the event. Did I mention that before putting on the high chair, she'd polished off a bottle or two of wine with her girlfriends? See? This is why there are no high chairs in my house.
First, the fascination with celebrity built an entire entertainment news industry. Then, along came TV competitions to make stars out of talented unknowns. Then, the increase in reality TV shows made stars out of unknowns with no talent. I think more and more people are measuring success with being famous.
I was watching a Different Strokes marathon (a tribute to Conrad Bain a/k/a Mr. Drummond, who died last week) when it dawned on me that Angelina Jolie, Madonna, and Sandra Bullock got all these props for adopting black babies, but there was no love for the trailblazers like Mr. Drummond and the couple who adopted Webster. Not fair.
Ronaiah Tulasosopo, who has confessed to being the mastermind of the hoax of an online romance with Manti Te'o, has revealed that his motivation was "intense emotional feelings" for Manti. In response, Manti is publicly and vehemently defending his heterosexuality. Once again, real life is proving more intense than fiction.
Whoever came up with the idea that corrupting the lyrics to classic hit songs would be useful in marketing? Tragic.
Another crime that often goes unpunished: dimming the stars in the eyes of an optimist.
Quietly ignoring mistreatment is like shaking a sealed can of beer; eventually, it's going to explode.
You are the one who defines who you are... even if that definition is someone who lets others define who you are.
Agape' -- P
Friday, January 18, 2013
January 18, 2013
Why do people get a pass on bad behavior just by saying, "I was in college"?
I know it's shallow, but it bugs me that the TMZ tee shirt I won last year is not as valuable now that I can buy one at their store.
It's a reflection on the current state of the media explosion that I can wake up one afternoon (don't judge me), and a news story has so saturated the press in a few hours that I feel like Rip Van Winkle.
Have you heard about the vaportini, a new apparatus that enables one to inhale vodka, rather than drink it? Among the selling points used to promote the product are that inhaled alcohol is calorie-free, and because the consumer gets inebriated almost immediately (the alcohol gets into the bloodstream without going through that pesky digestive tract), it is more responsible imbibing. Yes, what this world needs is something to make getting drunk faster.
Another new innovation in the world of alcohol consumption (I promise you, I don't go looking for these stories), is an ice cube designed by a 23-year-old MIT student. The ice cube is designed to change colors as more alcohol is consumed, so the consumer can measure how drunk he/she is getting. The irony in this is, the drunker you get, how sure are you that the ice cubes are really changing colors?
Remember planking, owling, Tebowing, and other trends in posed photographs of social media? The newest trend is called Teoing, or posing with your arm around an invisible companion. The concept comes from the story of former Heisman trophy hopeful Manti Te'o and the story of his deceased girlfriend, who, as it turns out, never existed. So, now, even imaginary people are starting trends!
After Australian Matt Corby went viral with his complaint that his Subway footlong sandwich only measured 11 inches, a spokesperson for the international chain suggested this was an isolated incident and that the one restaurant was at fault. I think we should all keep our rulers handy.
While Lance Armstrong's confession to doping while collecting Tour de France championships for years doesn't erase his effort to inspire millions of fellow cancer survivors through his Livestrong organization, it is proof that the end does not justify the means. Even his confession to Oprah Winfrey is being criticized by some as a heart-tugging publicity stunt.
Both Arnold Schwarzenegger, 65, and Sylvester Stallone, 66, have recently released action movies, respectively, The Last Stand, and Bullet to the Head. I feel so old.
A traveller may be forced to change direction, but he isn't really lost until he gives up on his destination.
Agape' -- P
I know it's shallow, but it bugs me that the TMZ tee shirt I won last year is not as valuable now that I can buy one at their store.
It's a reflection on the current state of the media explosion that I can wake up one afternoon (don't judge me), and a news story has so saturated the press in a few hours that I feel like Rip Van Winkle.
Have you heard about the vaportini, a new apparatus that enables one to inhale vodka, rather than drink it? Among the selling points used to promote the product are that inhaled alcohol is calorie-free, and because the consumer gets inebriated almost immediately (the alcohol gets into the bloodstream without going through that pesky digestive tract), it is more responsible imbibing. Yes, what this world needs is something to make getting drunk faster.
Another new innovation in the world of alcohol consumption (I promise you, I don't go looking for these stories), is an ice cube designed by a 23-year-old MIT student. The ice cube is designed to change colors as more alcohol is consumed, so the consumer can measure how drunk he/she is getting. The irony in this is, the drunker you get, how sure are you that the ice cubes are really changing colors?
Remember planking, owling, Tebowing, and other trends in posed photographs of social media? The newest trend is called Teoing, or posing with your arm around an invisible companion. The concept comes from the story of former Heisman trophy hopeful Manti Te'o and the story of his deceased girlfriend, who, as it turns out, never existed. So, now, even imaginary people are starting trends!
After Australian Matt Corby went viral with his complaint that his Subway footlong sandwich only measured 11 inches, a spokesperson for the international chain suggested this was an isolated incident and that the one restaurant was at fault. I think we should all keep our rulers handy.
While Lance Armstrong's confession to doping while collecting Tour de France championships for years doesn't erase his effort to inspire millions of fellow cancer survivors through his Livestrong organization, it is proof that the end does not justify the means. Even his confession to Oprah Winfrey is being criticized by some as a heart-tugging publicity stunt.
Both Arnold Schwarzenegger, 65, and Sylvester Stallone, 66, have recently released action movies, respectively, The Last Stand, and Bullet to the Head. I feel so old.
A traveller may be forced to change direction, but he isn't really lost until he gives up on his destination.
Agape' -- P
Friday, January 11, 2013
January 11, 2013
The worst part about having the flu this week is that almost everybody else has it, so nobody wants to listen to me complain.
I may be nitpicking, but I think fried chicken restaurants should at least offer chicken gravy for their mashed potatoes.
I'm not sure which fascinates me more, that people unconcerned about the influence of Justin Bieber on their underage children are blaming his marijuana use on the influence of his peer Lil Twist, or that a former Bieber bodyguard, also a former Israeli Army soldier, claims that the (maybe) 150-pound Bieber beat him up.
Charlie Sheen has called out Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, who's downplaying their New Year's Eve partying as nothing more than an brief photo op. Is this news? Not really. But it's rather smarmy to lie about someone else just to change perceptions about yourself.
I understand collecting action figures based on hero/fantasy movies; I have an action figure of Wolverine from the X-Men around here somewhere (and I was an adult when I bought it). Thus, I'm not surprised that someone decided to sell action figures based on the characters from the movie D'Jango Unchained; nor am I surprised that people are extremely offended by this.
The Guthrie theatre in Minnesota has designated a section of balcony seating "Tweet seats". For half the price of a regular ticket, those in these seats can use their smartphones during performances without disrupting fellow patrons. The times, they are a-changin'.
I really don't think anyone is going to avoid the latest GQ magazine because the cover photo of Beyonce was photoshopped.
An aggressive drunk who began attacking his fellow passengers on an international New Year's Eve flight was subdued by his fellow passengers and bound with duct tape until the end of the flight, where he was taken into police custody. My question is, who travels with that much duct tape on New Year's Eve, and why?
Kudos to Miss Alabama Katherine Webb, whose sensible defense of sportscaster Brent Musburger (after the media skewered him for referring to her as beautiful) makes her even more attractive.
I apologize if this week's blog is more newsy than insightful, but I spent more of this week coughing, suffering, and sleeping than I did actually thinking.
Agape' -- P
I may be nitpicking, but I think fried chicken restaurants should at least offer chicken gravy for their mashed potatoes.
I'm not sure which fascinates me more, that people unconcerned about the influence of Justin Bieber on their underage children are blaming his marijuana use on the influence of his peer Lil Twist, or that a former Bieber bodyguard, also a former Israeli Army soldier, claims that the (maybe) 150-pound Bieber beat him up.
Charlie Sheen has called out Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, who's downplaying their New Year's Eve partying as nothing more than an brief photo op. Is this news? Not really. But it's rather smarmy to lie about someone else just to change perceptions about yourself.
I understand collecting action figures based on hero/fantasy movies; I have an action figure of Wolverine from the X-Men around here somewhere (and I was an adult when I bought it). Thus, I'm not surprised that someone decided to sell action figures based on the characters from the movie D'Jango Unchained; nor am I surprised that people are extremely offended by this.
The Guthrie theatre in Minnesota has designated a section of balcony seating "Tweet seats". For half the price of a regular ticket, those in these seats can use their smartphones during performances without disrupting fellow patrons. The times, they are a-changin'.
I really don't think anyone is going to avoid the latest GQ magazine because the cover photo of Beyonce was photoshopped.
An aggressive drunk who began attacking his fellow passengers on an international New Year's Eve flight was subdued by his fellow passengers and bound with duct tape until the end of the flight, where he was taken into police custody. My question is, who travels with that much duct tape on New Year's Eve, and why?
Kudos to Miss Alabama Katherine Webb, whose sensible defense of sportscaster Brent Musburger (after the media skewered him for referring to her as beautiful) makes her even more attractive.
I apologize if this week's blog is more newsy than insightful, but I spent more of this week coughing, suffering, and sleeping than I did actually thinking.
Agape' -- P
Friday, January 4, 2013
January 4, 2013
Every year, Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin host New Year`s Eve on CNN. Every year, Kathy Griffin gets in "trouble" for doing something. Every year, the two of them are together again. Do they really think they`re fooling anyone?
The idea that survival builds strength is inspiring, but very little comfort while you`re suffering.
We were born humans, but have to work at being humane.
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are expecting their first child together. Speculation is that this baby will be one more Kardashian family member getting more respect than Bruce Jenner.
Every time I see Eddie Money spoofing himself in that Geico commercial, my heart breaks a little.
Spike Lee`s boycott of the movie Django Unchained because of its liberal use of the "n" word has me wondering: would the word be so controversial if not for Mark Fuhrman and the OJ trial? A whole generation has been raised since then; what do they think when they hear the word used rather casually on reruns of Sanford and Son and The Jeffersons?
Is the title character in Django Unchained named after a real person? I understand the D in his name is silent. If the name is totally made up, why bother?
I was more intrigued by President Obama singing along with a LED Zeppelin song than I was hearing him croon a few Al Green lyrics.
I can`t imagine any other actress but Mary Tyler Moore playing opposite Dick Van Dyke. The same is true of Bill Cosby and Phyllicia Rashad, and Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt. Does that mean they`re better actors or not as good?
Who came up with the idea of calling a child by his/her full name when he/she really makes you angry? And do you still do it when you`ve given the child three or four middle names?
Agape` -- P
The idea that survival builds strength is inspiring, but very little comfort while you`re suffering.
We were born humans, but have to work at being humane.
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are expecting their first child together. Speculation is that this baby will be one more Kardashian family member getting more respect than Bruce Jenner.
Every time I see Eddie Money spoofing himself in that Geico commercial, my heart breaks a little.
Spike Lee`s boycott of the movie Django Unchained because of its liberal use of the "n" word has me wondering: would the word be so controversial if not for Mark Fuhrman and the OJ trial? A whole generation has been raised since then; what do they think when they hear the word used rather casually on reruns of Sanford and Son and The Jeffersons?
Is the title character in Django Unchained named after a real person? I understand the D in his name is silent. If the name is totally made up, why bother?
I was more intrigued by President Obama singing along with a LED Zeppelin song than I was hearing him croon a few Al Green lyrics.
I can`t imagine any other actress but Mary Tyler Moore playing opposite Dick Van Dyke. The same is true of Bill Cosby and Phyllicia Rashad, and Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt. Does that mean they`re better actors or not as good?
Who came up with the idea of calling a child by his/her full name when he/she really makes you angry? And do you still do it when you`ve given the child three or four middle names?
Agape` -- P
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