Friday, February 15, 2013

February 15, 2013

Whose idea was it to base restaurant tips on the bill? It seems unfair that the server who was Johnny-on-the-spot with my piping hot coffee and bear claw gets a smaller tip than the one who took down my order wrong, and made me wait for an ice-cold steak.

I despise false advertising; I was hungry one night, sang the State Farm jingle ("Like a good neighbor...")... still had to make my own doggone sandwich.

Some people may be buying that "too-old-to-care-for-my-duties" excuse, but maybe the pope is stepping down to devote more time to that Twitter account he opened a few months ago.

Most bizarre comment I heard this week was from Harvey Levin, who said that a black pope may help the Catholic church with its "public relations problem."

I just found out that Jolly Rancher also makes a fruity soft candy as well as the fruity hard candy I've known of for years. I better not find out that any of my friends knew about this and didn't tell me.

The TV show My Strange Addiction recently featured a woman so addicted to coffee enemas that she often has four of them a day! I know this may come as a surprise, but I consider that a deal-breaker.

It isn't fair; the twitterverse is all, well, atwitter, about film critic Rex Reed's deplorable comments calling Melissa McCarthy a hippo, but Donald Trump is supposed to overlook comedian Bill Maher's suggestion that Trump's father was an orangutan?

Speaking of Maher, he may not be forced to donate the $5 million to charity that he promised after Donald Trump proved his father was not an orangutan, but at the very least, he should send Trump a muffin basket for suing him and keeping his name in the headlines.

I couldn't help laughing at a mean (not obscene) joke I heard this week, when it occurred to me: I bet you, too, have at least once laughed at an inappropriate joke that you still find funny.

It's unwise to assess your brilliance by the collective intelligence of your peers; you may be hanging out with idiots.

Agape' -- P

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