January 18, 2013

Why do people get a pass on bad behavior just by saying, "I was in college"?

I know it's shallow, but it bugs me that the TMZ tee shirt I won last year is not as valuable now that I can buy one at their store.

It's a reflection on the current state of the media explosion that I can wake up one afternoon (don't judge me), and a news story has so saturated the press in a few hours that I feel like Rip Van Winkle.

Have you heard about the vaportini, a new apparatus that enables one to inhale vodka, rather than drink it? Among the selling points used to promote the product are that inhaled alcohol is calorie-free, and because the consumer gets inebriated almost immediately (the alcohol gets into the bloodstream without going through that pesky digestive tract), it is more responsible imbibing. Yes, what this world needs is something to make getting drunk faster.

Another new innovation in the world of alcohol consumption (I promise you, I don't go looking for these stories), is an ice cube designed by a 23-year-old MIT student. The ice cube is designed to change colors as more alcohol is consumed, so the consumer can measure how drunk he/she is getting. The irony in this is, the drunker you get, how sure are you that the ice cubes are really changing colors?

Remember planking, owling, Tebowing, and other trends in posed photographs of social media? The newest trend is called Teoing, or posing with your arm around an invisible companion. The concept comes from the story of former Heisman trophy hopeful Manti Te'o and the story of his deceased girlfriend, who, as it turns out, never existed. So, now, even imaginary people are starting trends!

After Australian Matt Corby went viral with his complaint that his Subway footlong sandwich only measured 11 inches, a spokesperson for the international chain suggested this was an isolated incident and that the one restaurant was at fault. I think we should all keep our rulers handy.

While Lance Armstrong's confession to doping while collecting Tour de France championships for years doesn't erase his effort to inspire millions of fellow cancer survivors through his Livestrong organization, it is proof that the end does not justify the means. Even his confession to Oprah Winfrey is being criticized by some as a heart-tugging publicity stunt.

Both Arnold Schwarzenegger, 65, and Sylvester Stallone, 66, have recently released action movies, respectively, The Last Stand, and Bullet to the Head. I feel so old.

A traveller may be forced to change direction, but he isn't really lost until he gives up on his destination.

Agape' -- P