The last 'milestone' birthday most people look forward to is the one where you can legally drunk. Coincidence? I think not.
A 14-year-old girl made news last week after tweeting a false terrorism threat to American Airlines using the handle @QueenDemetriax_. The prank led to thousands of copycat threats from other Twitter users, the girl's arrest, and national attention. It also provides a new measure of idiocy: there's stupid, and there's @QueenDemetriax_ stupid.
Memo to Nancy Grace: Owen Hart died in front of millions during a WWE live event, not from drug abuse. Google a man before you traumatize his family.
Memo to Kate Upton: I'm sorry you're unhappy with them, but to quote Teri Hatcher, I bet "they're real, and they're spectacular."
Memo to those who want it all: appreciating a glass that's half full doesn't mean you won't keep trying for a full glass, but half full beats empty every time.
Talented people should receive recognition for their hard work. But between the Oscars, the Grammies, the People's Choice, the AMA's, the MTV movie awards, et cetera, et cetera... is there really an award season anymore? Pretty soon, we'll have the 15th-week-of-the-year awards. Maybe it's a collaborative conspiracy between fashion designers and the people who weave and sell red carpets.
The one who should be agonizing over your misery is the one who caused it. So don't waste your time when you could be choosing the brighter side.
A photo of Kate Middleton wearing a new Diane von Furstenberg wrap dress went viral. Within minutes, stores sold out of it. In a similar story, an increase in sales of a Glacier Bay curved shower rod has been directly attributed to the trailer of a video soon to be released by Vivid Entertainment, featuring reality TV star Mimi Faust, whose bodyweight was impressively supported by said shower rod. I guess it pays to advertise.
An Italian woman three months into her fertility-clinic-implanted pregnancy was recently informed that she was accidentally implanted with embryos that belong to another client. I can't wait to see the review she posts on Yelp.
And now, a word that may or may not be meant for anyone in particular: I don't care if it is considered classic, you're too old to be calling strangers and asking if their refrigerator's running.
Agape' -- P
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