Friday, January 10, 2014

January 10, 2014

I'm watching a news program where the top 3 stories are Ricky Martin's breakup, Dennis Rodman returning to North Korea for an exhibition game, and Eliot Spitzer with a woman in a hot tub. It occurs to me that we never really appreciate a slow news day.

I wondered why I like hanging out with my friend Chuy; then it dawned on me that his name reminds me of cookies.

In this new era of political correctness and sensitivity, let me say that as a horizontally challenged person,  I'm personally offended when slightly bloated people compare the size of their bodies to a house. That's my thing!

Saturday Night Live has hired its first black female regular cast member, Sasheer Zamata.
I wonder who's happier, Sasheer, for becoming a trailblazer, Kenan Thompson, who can stop appearing in drag, or Oprah Winfrey and Michelle Obama, who can now be portrayed by someone without a Y chromosome.

She thought it would make her feel like a celebrity to have red carpet installed in her foyer; but every time she enters or leaves her house, there's Joan Rivers, criticizing her outfit.

So where would the art form of situation comedies be if there were no misunderstandings?

Another one of those studies reveals that cold-weather colleges are better than warm-weather colleges because of better fashions, comfort, and scenery. I feel like such an idiot; I thought you choose a college based on the quality of education.

The temperature in Hell, Indiana, dropped below freezing this week, prompting a lot of newscasters to report that hell officially froze over. Do you think someone named the town just to make that joke someday?

I realized recently that, although I've heard the expression a lot, I've never actually seen anyone come down with "the vapors." The sick thing is, now I kinda want to.

And now, a message that may or may not be directed to anyone in particular: the next time you serve a dinner with a Mexican theme but don't feel like making guacamole, your real friends won't mind. But don't stir red pepper flake into mashed green peas; you're not fooling anybody.

Agape' -- P

No comments:

Post a Comment