I wanted to begin this week's blog with the best news: the Twinkie is back!
An important part of developing character is recognizing need for growth and accepting the fact that in some ways you aren't there yet.
Is anyone at ABC investigating why all the white women on The View have left? Because you know they would if it was the black women.
Kanye West is selling plain white cotton tee shirts for $120. I have two words.... the second one is "please."
Asiana Airlines has announced they will not be suing TV station KTVU after a newscast erroneously reported bogus names for the four pilots involved in the crash of flight 214. Apparently, the station reported the names Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow before anyone realized they were being pranked. Originally, the airline was going to sue because their reputation was damaged (although I thought the plane crash had already done that).
After over a year of speculation of racism, profiling, politics, civil rights, and media manipulation, George Zimmerman was acquitted of murder charges in the shooting death of unarmed 17-year-old Trayvon Martin. I keep hearing commentators offering condolensces to Trayvon's family, and even if they are sincere, it seems a bit hollow, although I imagine there'd be criticism if they weren't offered.
There were two celebrity weddings this weekend: Halle Berry and Jimmy Kimmel. I made a point of attending neither, so that no one would feel slighted. But I'm okay; have you heard? The Twinkie is back!
Jimmy Kimmel's bride, Molly McNearney, pranked the groom by first having Precious actress Gabby Sidibe sub for her on the walk down the aisle. Kimmel was totally surprised when he lifted that veil. At first, I thought it was clever and funny; then, I thought it was insulting. Then, for Gabby Sidibe, I found it oddly empowering.
Charles Ramsey became a national hero for helping rescue three kidnapped women two months ago. Even though he has reportedly collected $50,000 from speaking engagements and private donations, has been offered free burgers for life, and maybe the subject of an action figure (!?!), he now reports that he's broke and homeless after being fired from his job because of fans visiting him there and "shamed" out of his house by neighbors. I guess no good deed really does go unpunished.
Some fans of Paula Deen are protesting against her former sponsors by mailing them empty, greasy butter wrappers. You know, some things are just so bizarre, I could never make them up.
Agape' -- P
Friday, July 19, 2013
Friday, July 12, 2013
July 12, 2013
Who in Sam Hill was Sam Hill?
Congratulations, Joey "Jaws" Chestnut, who won his 7th straight trophy in Nathan's Annual Hot Dog Eating contest. Joey downed 69 frankfurters (complete with buns) in 10 minutes, setting a new world's record (the previous record was 68, also set by Chestnut). That's a lot of wieners.
Do you realize how often the word need is misused? For instance, a husband might ask his wife, "Do you really think you need that dessert?" Did the husband really need to ask that question? Do you think he needed the fat lip it got him?
Given that we often want things that aren't best for us, isn't it better that some prayers are answered "No"?
Are you being selfish when you don't share with someone who doesn't share well?
If we're to believe song titles, wouldn't it be sad to have to fall in love to find out you're a fool?
It's odd, how the word consequence is often used as a negative when, by definition, a consequence can be either good or bad.
Samsung exec David Eun's tweets (including a photo) about the crash of flight 214 moments after he survived the crash demonstrate the value of technology a lot better than posts about some drunken celebrity stumbling onto a sidewalk.
I admit, I haven't been watching Big Brother this year, but i do look forward to seeing 22-year-old contestant Aaryn Gries' reaction when she emerges from the isolation and faces the reaction to her numerous racist comments. First up will be her exit interview with Asian host Julie Chen. That should be a ratings blockbuster! If CBS' decision to air her bigotry in anticipation of public interest.. bravo!
Does anyone else find it ironic that Illinois is the 50th state to pass a law permitting the concealed carrying of firearms at the same time that George Zimmerman is on trial for shooting and killing unarmed teen Trayvon Martin?
Agape' -- P
Congratulations, Joey "Jaws" Chestnut, who won his 7th straight trophy in Nathan's Annual Hot Dog Eating contest. Joey downed 69 frankfurters (complete with buns) in 10 minutes, setting a new world's record (the previous record was 68, also set by Chestnut). That's a lot of wieners.
Do you realize how often the word need is misused? For instance, a husband might ask his wife, "Do you really think you need that dessert?" Did the husband really need to ask that question? Do you think he needed the fat lip it got him?
Given that we often want things that aren't best for us, isn't it better that some prayers are answered "No"?
Are you being selfish when you don't share with someone who doesn't share well?
If we're to believe song titles, wouldn't it be sad to have to fall in love to find out you're a fool?
It's odd, how the word consequence is often used as a negative when, by definition, a consequence can be either good or bad.
Samsung exec David Eun's tweets (including a photo) about the crash of flight 214 moments after he survived the crash demonstrate the value of technology a lot better than posts about some drunken celebrity stumbling onto a sidewalk.
I admit, I haven't been watching Big Brother this year, but i do look forward to seeing 22-year-old contestant Aaryn Gries' reaction when she emerges from the isolation and faces the reaction to her numerous racist comments. First up will be her exit interview with Asian host Julie Chen. That should be a ratings blockbuster! If CBS' decision to air her bigotry in anticipation of public interest.. bravo!
Does anyone else find it ironic that Illinois is the 50th state to pass a law permitting the concealed carrying of firearms at the same time that George Zimmerman is on trial for shooting and killing unarmed teen Trayvon Martin?
Agape' -- P
Friday, July 5, 2013
July 5, 2013
If ignorance of the law is no excuse, then "I didn't know" is no substitute for "I'm sorry."
Last week, Sesame Workshop, the production company behind Sesame Street, announced that 10% of its workforce will be laid off due to cutbacks. How sad is an out-of-work muppet?
I understand about Q ratings and all, but it's still very messed up that top billing in the movie The Lone Ranger goes to the actor playing Tonto, even if it is Johnny Depp.
At the risk of pushing the edge of the envelope, why is it that most of the people who insist on walking around nude are the least likely people anyone wants to see nude?
An increasing trend in weddings is the collection of cellphones from the guests to prohibit the taking of unauthorized photos of the wedding party and/or decorations. I think this comes from a desire to feel like Alec Baldwin. Hey, bride and/or groom: get over yourself.
To celebrate the premiere of its second season (doesn't it seem like it's been around longer?), the TV show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo will be a scratch and sniff event. Viewers will be able to, during select moments of the program, scratch special cards that are available in certain retail stores and this week's People magazine, and enjoy significant aromas. But I don't fancy the notion of anything scratch and sniff with "boo boo" in the title, do you?
Is there a more arrogant statement than "What do you mean, 'no'?"
A woman found a snake in th bag of potatoes she brought home from her local Walmart. Another woman was awakened by an exploding jar of homemade rhubarb chutney in her refrigerator. I don't care how many stories like this I see in the news, you will not convince me that food is an enemy.
Just a note to those parents who think they should tell their children everything: are you sure your kids are telling you everything?
I think you hear more about people getting the crap beaten out of them than it actually happening.
Agape' -- P
Friday, June 28, 2013
June 28, 2013
Congratulations, Chicago Blackhawks, who won the Stanley Cup this past Monday! It took a mere 17 seconds for the Hawks to score two goals, taking the lead, game, and championship from the Boston Bruins.
According to a spokesman for new parents Kimye (who, by the way, are now engaged), the couple's decision to name the baby North was inspirational, because North represents higher ground. Uh huh.
Speaking of North West, Kim Kardashian gave pictures of a different baby to people she trusted, and sure enough, someone sold the picture to TMZ. But you can get a look at the real North West in this picture.
Just a reminder for Nik Wallenda, who crossed a 1,400 foot gorge at the Grand Canyon on a tightrope 1,500 feet above ground, and was heard praying the entire time: although you are a member of the famous Flying Wallendas family, sometimes the answer to a prayer is no.
The Food Network, Walmart, Target, Smithfield Hams, and Caesars Entertainment are cutting ties with Paula Deen after she, during a racial discrimination lawsuit filed against her, admitted to repeated use of a racial slur (n*gg*r) 27 (!) years ago, and suggested an "old-fashioned plantation" wedding for her brother Bubba in 2007. Personally, I don"t know that Ms. Deen hates people of color, but at the very least, she demonstrated a fondness for a culture that definitely disrespects us. This proves two things: (1) Racism is not always motivated by hate, and (2) butter is definitely not brain food.
It perfectly demonstrates the ability of the populace to be confused that a spokeswoman for Al Sharpton felt the need to release a statement that Sharpton wasn't defending Paula Deen by simply suggesting that she shouldn't be castigated solely on behavior that is 27 years old.
A French mother faces up to 3 years incarceration for posing as her teen aged daughter to take the girl's college placement exam. The flaw in her plan was that the 50+ year old could not pass for 18. Who's the genius in this family?
Hey, Justin Bieber, you say you want to be taken seriously as an artist? Then stop getting high before posting videos on Instagram and get rid of that car.
In the central Mexican state of Hidalgo, there is an amusement park attraction that simulates illegal border crossing into the U.S., complete with a three hour, seven mile hike that includes climbing over fences and trying to steer clear of barking dogs, flashlight beams and other obstructions in an effort to elude fake border patrol officers. The experience, which costs about $20 per person, is designed to discourage people from actually crossing the border. However, at the end of the experience, you're down $20, and you're still in Mexico.
Does it disturb anyone that major cultural decisions are based on the opinions on a majority that has to be told not to text and drive?
Agape' -- P
According to a spokesman for new parents Kimye (who, by the way, are now engaged), the couple's decision to name the baby North was inspirational, because North represents higher ground. Uh huh.
Speaking of North West, Kim Kardashian gave pictures of a different baby to people she trusted, and sure enough, someone sold the picture to TMZ. But you can get a look at the real North West in this picture.
Just a reminder for Nik Wallenda, who crossed a 1,400 foot gorge at the Grand Canyon on a tightrope 1,500 feet above ground, and was heard praying the entire time: although you are a member of the famous Flying Wallendas family, sometimes the answer to a prayer is no.
The Food Network, Walmart, Target, Smithfield Hams, and Caesars Entertainment are cutting ties with Paula Deen after she, during a racial discrimination lawsuit filed against her, admitted to repeated use of a racial slur (n*gg*r) 27 (!) years ago, and suggested an "old-fashioned plantation" wedding for her brother Bubba in 2007. Personally, I don"t know that Ms. Deen hates people of color, but at the very least, she demonstrated a fondness for a culture that definitely disrespects us. This proves two things: (1) Racism is not always motivated by hate, and (2) butter is definitely not brain food.
It perfectly demonstrates the ability of the populace to be confused that a spokeswoman for Al Sharpton felt the need to release a statement that Sharpton wasn't defending Paula Deen by simply suggesting that she shouldn't be castigated solely on behavior that is 27 years old.
A French mother faces up to 3 years incarceration for posing as her teen aged daughter to take the girl's college placement exam. The flaw in her plan was that the 50+ year old could not pass for 18. Who's the genius in this family?
Hey, Justin Bieber, you say you want to be taken seriously as an artist? Then stop getting high before posting videos on Instagram and get rid of that car.
In the central Mexican state of Hidalgo, there is an amusement park attraction that simulates illegal border crossing into the U.S., complete with a three hour, seven mile hike that includes climbing over fences and trying to steer clear of barking dogs, flashlight beams and other obstructions in an effort to elude fake border patrol officers. The experience, which costs about $20 per person, is designed to discourage people from actually crossing the border. However, at the end of the experience, you're down $20, and you're still in Mexico.
Does it disturb anyone that major cultural decisions are based on the opinions on a majority that has to be told not to text and drive?
Agape' -- P
Friday, June 21, 2013
June 21, 2013
I always get a kick out of news taglines that say, "This is the story everyone's talking about," and in reality, nobody's talking about it. Guess I'm just twisted like that.
Kim Kardashian gave birth to a baby girl last Saturday. As we were forewarned, she and her babydaddy Kanye West announced that they're naming their daughter North (get it, North West?). That means either they aren't reading this blog, or couldn't care less about my opinion. Oh, well...
I actually felt sorry for Miss Utah, whose stammering flub during the question portion of this week's Miss USA pageant has made her the butt of a lot of jokes. Hey, it's not easy to be pretty and articulate at the same time; I barely manage to pull it off myself.
James Franco, who is reportedly worth 20 million dollars, is offering small roles, executive producer credits, and dinner with him to anyone offering certain amounts of donations to an indie film trilogy project based on his book Palo Alto. In other words, those organizations collecting donations to fight disease, homelessness, and famine can all wait, right?
People have claimed to see the image of Jesus Christ in water stains and toast patterns; now, someone claims that they've seen his image on a dog's behind. Really. how bored (or drunk or high) does one have to be to stare at your dog's behind long enough to start thinking, "Hey, that looks like Jesus!"
While going through security at an airport in Turkey, a young mother accidentally handed the official a toy passport addressed to a unicorn instead of the actual passport for her 9-year-old little girl. The customs official stamped the passport, and let them through. I don't think there's any resemblance; do you?
Ever get a song stuck in your head, but you don't want to admit you like it? The fear of that happenig is one reason I refuse to listen to Justin Bieber.
We have to come up with a better term for explaining the opposite side of a dispute; I refuse to refer to myself as a devil's advocate.
When I was growing up, one adult told me that thunder was the sound of angels bowling; another told me it was the devil beating his wife. I wish I could have given them both copies of my science textbook.
There was a time when an apology included the words, "I'm sorry." Then, people redefined an apology with the words, "My bad." Now, people don't even acknowledge doing something wrong. Is that what's known as progress?
Agape' -- P
Kim Kardashian gave birth to a baby girl last Saturday. As we were forewarned, she and her babydaddy Kanye West announced that they're naming their daughter North (get it, North West?). That means either they aren't reading this blog, or couldn't care less about my opinion. Oh, well...
I actually felt sorry for Miss Utah, whose stammering flub during the question portion of this week's Miss USA pageant has made her the butt of a lot of jokes. Hey, it's not easy to be pretty and articulate at the same time; I barely manage to pull it off myself.
James Franco, who is reportedly worth 20 million dollars, is offering small roles, executive producer credits, and dinner with him to anyone offering certain amounts of donations to an indie film trilogy project based on his book Palo Alto. In other words, those organizations collecting donations to fight disease, homelessness, and famine can all wait, right?
People have claimed to see the image of Jesus Christ in water stains and toast patterns; now, someone claims that they've seen his image on a dog's behind. Really. how bored (or drunk or high) does one have to be to stare at your dog's behind long enough to start thinking, "Hey, that looks like Jesus!"
While going through security at an airport in Turkey, a young mother accidentally handed the official a toy passport addressed to a unicorn instead of the actual passport for her 9-year-old little girl. The customs official stamped the passport, and let them through. I don't think there's any resemblance; do you?
Ever get a song stuck in your head, but you don't want to admit you like it? The fear of that happenig is one reason I refuse to listen to Justin Bieber.
We have to come up with a better term for explaining the opposite side of a dispute; I refuse to refer to myself as a devil's advocate.
When I was growing up, one adult told me that thunder was the sound of angels bowling; another told me it was the devil beating his wife. I wish I could have given them both copies of my science textbook.
There was a time when an apology included the words, "I'm sorry." Then, people redefined an apology with the words, "My bad." Now, people don't even acknowledge doing something wrong. Is that what's known as progress?
Agape' -- P
Friday, June 14, 2013
June 14, 2013
Kudos to Jo Frost, TV's Supernanny, who has demonstrated that growing up in a family can teach you about family without starting a family of your own.
As smarmy as this sounds, I'm commenting on the cosmetic procedure that George Clooney has repeatedly joked about (which turns out, is a real thing) for two reasons: (1) it's so absurd, it screams for me to opine on it, and (2) I have chosen not to comment on Michael Douglas' claim as to how he got throat cancer (notice how I cleverly did that?). Here is my comment: nobody's body is so perfect that that area is a cosmetic priority.
A thought occurred to me while watching a rerun of The Jeffersons: do you think George Jefferson hated pandas as much as he hated zebras?
Two news items from last week: (1) a New York soccer mom was arrested for owning and maintaining a warehouse housing $3,000,000 worth of marijuana plants when she paid an understandably huge electric bill with cash, and (2) a North Carolina postal worker who'd collected disability payments for years because of a shoulder injury was arrested for fraud after twice spinning the big wheel on The Price is Right. News stories about criminals sure are funny when their own boneheaded moves get them caught.
A woman who overheard a fellow commuter train passenger (whom she did not know) bragging about his extramarital affair took his picture with her cellphone, and posted it on Facebook in hopes that his wife would see it. I'm neither condoning his adultery nor criticizing the stupidity of bragging about such a thing in public, but I am hoping that he and his wife don't have children who'll be scarred by this exposure.
Fixing a hamburger is no more difficult than fixing a grilled cheese sandwich. So how come I'd order a hamburger in a restaurant, but not a grilled cheese? Yes, I've actually wondered about that
A judge rescinded her decision to accept Chad Johnson's community service ruling for violating probation and sentenced him to 30 days in jail because Johnson, when asked by the judge if he appreciated his attorney's efforts, gave his attorney a pat on the behind. Was it overkill at taxpayers' expense, or demanding respect for judicial authority? People are divided on the issue. But don't be surprised if that judge gets her own TV show out of this.
Was watching contestants on the TV game show Wipeout when I started wondering if the show owes its success to Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern from Home Alone, or Wile E Coyote from Road Runner cartoons.
Am I the only one who thinks the fertility statue of Kim Kardashian looks like the dancing baby hologram from Ally McBeal?
Even though it's the year 2013, and they're outdated and underwear-like, I think it's an outrageous slap in the face that Superman is no longer wearing his red shorts. There. I said it.
Agape' -- P
As smarmy as this sounds, I'm commenting on the cosmetic procedure that George Clooney has repeatedly joked about (which turns out, is a real thing) for two reasons: (1) it's so absurd, it screams for me to opine on it, and (2) I have chosen not to comment on Michael Douglas' claim as to how he got throat cancer (notice how I cleverly did that?). Here is my comment: nobody's body is so perfect that that area is a cosmetic priority.
A thought occurred to me while watching a rerun of The Jeffersons: do you think George Jefferson hated pandas as much as he hated zebras?
Two news items from last week: (1) a New York soccer mom was arrested for owning and maintaining a warehouse housing $3,000,000 worth of marijuana plants when she paid an understandably huge electric bill with cash, and (2) a North Carolina postal worker who'd collected disability payments for years because of a shoulder injury was arrested for fraud after twice spinning the big wheel on The Price is Right. News stories about criminals sure are funny when their own boneheaded moves get them caught.
A woman who overheard a fellow commuter train passenger (whom she did not know) bragging about his extramarital affair took his picture with her cellphone, and posted it on Facebook in hopes that his wife would see it. I'm neither condoning his adultery nor criticizing the stupidity of bragging about such a thing in public, but I am hoping that he and his wife don't have children who'll be scarred by this exposure.
Fixing a hamburger is no more difficult than fixing a grilled cheese sandwich. So how come I'd order a hamburger in a restaurant, but not a grilled cheese? Yes, I've actually wondered about that
A judge rescinded her decision to accept Chad Johnson's community service ruling for violating probation and sentenced him to 30 days in jail because Johnson, when asked by the judge if he appreciated his attorney's efforts, gave his attorney a pat on the behind. Was it overkill at taxpayers' expense, or demanding respect for judicial authority? People are divided on the issue. But don't be surprised if that judge gets her own TV show out of this.
Was watching contestants on the TV game show Wipeout when I started wondering if the show owes its success to Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern from Home Alone, or Wile E Coyote from Road Runner cartoons.
Am I the only one who thinks the fertility statue of Kim Kardashian looks like the dancing baby hologram from Ally McBeal?
Even though it's the year 2013, and they're outdated and underwear-like, I think it's an outrageous slap in the face that Superman is no longer wearing his red shorts. There. I said it.
Agape' -- P
Friday, June 7, 2013
June 7, 2013
Today is National Doughnut Day, and I've been hit with an incredible craving for an apple fritter. For once, my timing is perfect!
With all the problems plaguing the world today, who has time (and the nerve) to be upset about an interracial family enjoying a bowl of Cheerios?
Canadian pop star Justin Bieber is scheduled to go into outer space as part of Richard Branson's commercial space flight program. How much do you think Branson would charge to leave him there?
Cowboy Troy, Darius Rucker, and Nelly appeared at this week's Country Music Association awards. Has anyone thanked Charley Pride for years of pioneering efforts to make this possible?
A 66-year-old Hong Kong man consulting a doctor about his swollen abdomen was recently diagnosed with Turner Syndrome, a chromosomal abnormality, and congenital adrenal hyperplasis that increases male hormones (which caused him to grow both a beard and a "micropenis"). Therefore, he is biologically a woman (isn't this around the time you'd expect the doctor to say "You've been punked!"?). The condition affects 1 out of 3,000 women, and has only been reported 6 times in medical history. The patient has decided to continue living as a man, taking hormonal supplements, making more money, and getting cranky once a month.
Conrad Murray, the doctor in prison for the death of Michael Jackson, has reportedly tried to reach out to Michael's daughter Paris, who allegedly attempted suicide this week. Now that's what I call a bad idea.
It's kind of sad that there are people who don't understand the therapeutic benefits of an ice cream sundae.
The 84-year-old woman who won the $590,000,000 Powerball lottery jackpot sent a thank-you message to the woman who allowed her to step ahead of her in line. Wasn't that nice?
Due to a scoring error in the Miss Universe Canada 2013 contest, the second runner-up was mistakenly crowned as the winner. To apologize for the mishap, the second runner-up was invited to join the actual winner on tour and at public appearances. But don't you feel sorry for the first runner-up?
The newest fitness (and Internet) craze is an aerobic exercise called Prancersize. I'm not fat enough to go this far.
Agape' -- P
With all the problems plaguing the world today, who has time (and the nerve) to be upset about an interracial family enjoying a bowl of Cheerios?
Canadian pop star Justin Bieber is scheduled to go into outer space as part of Richard Branson's commercial space flight program. How much do you think Branson would charge to leave him there?
Cowboy Troy, Darius Rucker, and Nelly appeared at this week's Country Music Association awards. Has anyone thanked Charley Pride for years of pioneering efforts to make this possible?
A 66-year-old Hong Kong man consulting a doctor about his swollen abdomen was recently diagnosed with Turner Syndrome, a chromosomal abnormality, and congenital adrenal hyperplasis that increases male hormones (which caused him to grow both a beard and a "micropenis"). Therefore, he is biologically a woman (isn't this around the time you'd expect the doctor to say "You've been punked!"?). The condition affects 1 out of 3,000 women, and has only been reported 6 times in medical history. The patient has decided to continue living as a man, taking hormonal supplements, making more money, and getting cranky once a month.
Conrad Murray, the doctor in prison for the death of Michael Jackson, has reportedly tried to reach out to Michael's daughter Paris, who allegedly attempted suicide this week. Now that's what I call a bad idea.
It's kind of sad that there are people who don't understand the therapeutic benefits of an ice cream sundae.
The 84-year-old woman who won the $590,000,000 Powerball lottery jackpot sent a thank-you message to the woman who allowed her to step ahead of her in line. Wasn't that nice?
Due to a scoring error in the Miss Universe Canada 2013 contest, the second runner-up was mistakenly crowned as the winner. To apologize for the mishap, the second runner-up was invited to join the actual winner on tour and at public appearances. But don't you feel sorry for the first runner-up?
The newest fitness (and Internet) craze is an aerobic exercise called Prancersize. I'm not fat enough to go this far.
Agape' -- P
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