May 30, 2014

Ricky Martin was quoted as saying that he received so much support when he came out of the closet that he wishes he could do it all over again. Suggested translation? "I haven't been in the news for a while. Don't forget me."

I have doubts about a recent study that suggests intellectual people stay up late, and engage in recreational sex and drug use. If this was true, Mensa would be full of narcotics addicted insomniacs loaded down with STDs.

I was watching reruns of hit TV shows and wondering whatever happened to Kim Parsons, Joseph Marcell, Yvonne Strahovski, and David Hyde-Pierce. Then, I suddenly realized that Dancing With the Stars has the potential to go on indefinitely. Shudder.

This week, in a nursing home in China, 113-year-old Azatihan Sawuti married her boyfriend, 70-year-old Aimtl Ahemti  (what a cougar). There have been no announcements regarding whether the couple plans to start a family. Personally, I think they're trying to steal the thunder from Kim and Kanye.

Millions are mourning the death of poet Maya Angelou, who inspired so many people in her 86 years. She was one person who demonstrated the power of words.

Note to 50 Cent: Don't let people sweat you over that bad first pitch at last Tuesday's Mets game. The public were a lot rougher on Roseanne Barr, and everybody knew what her voice was like.

25-year-old Ukranian serial prankster Vitalii Sediuk was arrested last week after hitting Brad Pitt in the face at the premiere of the movie Maleficent. Sediuk's history of red carpet celebrity attacks includes trying to kiss Will Smith in 2012, crashing the stage at the 2013 Grammy Awards, burying his face in Bradley Cooper's crotch this past January, attempting to do the same to Leonardo DiCaprio in February, and shoving his head up America Ferrare's skirt in Cannes just last week. Will somebody tell this guy that there are more legal and less creepy ways to become famous these days? And how does he keep getting so close to these people?

Note to Gwyneth Paltrow: even of you truly believe the ridicule of celebrities on the Internet equates you to soldiers at war (really?), that was an opinion best kept to yourself. And the day after Memorial Day was the worst time to share it.

Note to Charlize Theron: even if you truly believe the press intrusion in the lives of celebrities equates you to the suffering of rape victims (really???)... see above note to Gwyneth Paltrow.

And now, a not that may be meant for someone in particular: yes, you have a right to wallow in self-pity. But those who really care about you have a right not to watch.

Agape' -- P