December 27, 2013

I play this video to remind women that they aren't powerless, and they can strike fear in the hearts of men.

She was crushed when she found out that he couldn't be trusted... but it hurt even more that he didn't care to regain her trust.

Cracker Barrel restaurants initially stopped selling Duck Dynasty merchandise in support of the backlash against cast member Phil Robertson's public statements against gay lifestyles. However, after only one day, they backpedalled on that decision because of outraged customers. Ironic, isn't it, that Robertson held fast to his position.

By the way, Robertson also made statements that were anti-black people. According to spokespeople from the A&E network, Robertson was taken off the air because his anti-gay stance were especially offensive to the numerous gay employees. Do they not have black employees? Or is that offense less of an issue? Or is that less news-worthy?

A 27-year-old man in Texas was playing "the knockout game". In this game, one uses his (or her) smartphone to record himself (or herself) approach a total stranger and try to knock the victim unconscious with one punch, then flee the scene. In this case, the Texan broke the jaw of a 78-year-old man, then, boasted about it as he showed the video to a fellow bar patron who, it turns out, was an off-duty police officer. Because his victim was black, the man faces federal charges for a hate crime, and can be sentenced to 10 years in prison. Another video on his smartphone showed him stating that black people "haven’t fully experienced the blessing of evolution." But apparently, he hadn't been blessed with kindness or good sense.

I am so impressed with the timing of public opinion. Have you noticed that the celebrities chosen to top the lists called "Most Beautiful" or "Sexiest" are usually celebrities with a film, TV show, book, or album to promote? How do they do it?

According to Victoria's Secret, the target consumer for their lingerie sales are men. In other startling news, water is still wet and ice is still cold.

Little North West celebrated her first holiday season with designer items from Hermes Paris, Michael Coste, Stella McCartney, and Guiseppe. And, at 6 months old, she was probably more interested in the packaging. 

Have you heard of the Ramen Burger? Patties made out of fried ramen noodles replace the bun on these beef burgers, and since its first sale in New York this past August, it has been compared to the Cronut as the next nation-sweeping food mashup. I haven't tried this yet; usually, lettuce is the only crunch I want in my burger. But you know how I am about food; I will try it just for you.

A woman in California admits that she can't compete with her neighbor's elaborate holiday decorations. While I don't celebrate, I found her solution pretty creative:


Agape' -- P

December 20, 2013

Legendary Chicago radio personaality Larry Lujack, who inspired some of today's popular broadcasters such as David Letterman and Rush Limbaugh, died of cancer this week at 73. I still remember listening to his morning show when I was growing up. Minneapolis-based Target Corp. admitted that approximately 40 million credit and debit card accounts may have been impacted by a security breach in its system, permitting unauthorized access to information on customers who made purchases in U.S. stores from November 27 to December 15. I can't remember the last time I was this happy about my negative credit score and inability to get a credit card. A 21-year-old California man who was caught driving a stolen pickup truck explained to police that he stole the truck in order to get to court on time; he was late for a hearing regarding earlier charges of stealing another car. Sometimes, consistency can be a bad thing. . For the second year in a row, a woman has assembled her Christmas lights on the roof of her Louisiana home into the shape of a hand flipping the bird. Last year, city officials asked that she take down the display, but the ACLU supported her right to reassemble it. The reason for the display? To offend a neighbor with whom she is feuding. Ironically, she doesn't even live in the house anymore. I would comment on the size of the chip on her shoulder, but I don't want to get on her bad side. Have you seen the commercials for yogurt that feature teenagers outwitting their parents when they swap the unhealthy snacks for Yoplait? I'm trying to figure out who their target audience is, since it seems unlikely that parents would enjoy being portrayed as clueless dupes. At least those commercials for Activia are clearly for the benefit of the chronically constipated. I like that kind of clarity. Speaking of which, have you seen this? The "squatty potty" is designed to position the user into a squatting position on the commode, which is supposed to increase elimination. After centuries of civilization, somebody finally figured out that those bears in the woods have been doing it right. I've wondered for years: what do you do when you desperately need a Clapper or a Chia Pet like, in April or May? Arts & Entertainment Television (A&E) has indefinitely suspended Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson for making remarks criticizing homosexuality during an interview with GQ magazine. Robertson has repeatedly expressed his views during public appearances; what did they expect? I'll tell you what I didn't expect: to see this man  being featured in GQ magazine. I haven't read it in years, but I remember it being a magazine about mens' fashion. A 17-year-old North Texan young man was sentenced to 10 years probation for killing 4 pedestrians and injuring 2 others after stealing beer from a store, and driving drunk at 70 miles per hour (30 miles over the posted speed limit). Besides a blood alcohol reading of 3 times the legal limit when tested 3 hours after the accident, there were also traces of valium in his system. The young man, who was on probation months before for being caught with alcohol, avoided prison because his attorneys allegedly argued that his affluent upbringing did not teach him to connect his behavior with consequences. This defense, called affluenza, has met with a lot of debate and controversy. No kidding. Know the expression "take a long walk off a short pier?" Well, it actually happened: a Taiwanese woman touring Australia had to be rescued after walking off this pier   while checking her Facebook account on her smartphone. Thankfully, both she and her phone (which she held onto throughout the ordeal) survived unscathed. Agape' -- P

December 13, 2013

We'll never get to thinking in terms of we and our as long as we keep thinking in terms of us versus them.

Now that President Obama was seen taking a selfie with the British and Danish prime ministers (during Nelson Mandela's memorial service), does that mean selfies are no longer obnoxious?

I like to study trivia so that when people sarcastically say to me, "Tell me something I don't know", I can do just that.

16 weeks ago, Pattrick McConlogue, a 23-year-old computer programmer, offered Leo Grand, a homeless man, a deal: $100 cash, or programming lessons for one hour each day on a laptop computer. Leo chose the lessons. The result? A mobile app called Trees for Cars, which connects carpoolers to share rides. McConlogue has relinquished his share in the profits, so all the money goes to Leo. Some say McConlogue should've just given him the money, but on the Google Play store alone, the app has been purchased over 500 (the app is also available on Itunes). Also, Leo has learned enough to develop more apps. I'd say he picked the right door, wouldn't you? Talk about "teach a man to fish."

Electrician Chris Gillott started a trend by using the lights in the Blue Cross/Blue Shield building to pay tribute to Walter Payton when he died 14 years ago. The custom has been repeated many times over the years to commemorate several things, including the national soccer team, pay tribute to Martin Luther King Jr. and breast cancer awareness. When Gillott died last week, the custom was once again used in tribute to him.

Thamsanqa Jantjie, the sign language interpreter employed during Nelson Mandela's memorial service attributes his failure to correctly translate what was being said to hallucinations caused by his chronic schizophrenia. I know this is terribly insensitive, but when I think of the fact that this man continued making those senseless gestures (called nonsense and jibberish), and nobody stopped him, I burst out laughing.

My favorite quote this week goes to Sofia Vergara, who was nominated again for the Golden Globes, but was passed over for a SAG awards nomination: "My Golden Globes are still going strong! That's why I don't sag."

Have you noticed that more medications are listing suicidal thoughts among their side effects? How is this acceptable? I bet they wouldn't be able to list homicidal thoughts among their side effects.

The only time I'm slightly bothered by my shellfish allergy is when I see a particular loved one have a rather orgasmic reaction to her first bite of either lobster or crab cakes. I don't quite know what that says about her, but it is something to see.

The advice "Be true to yourself" seems very incomplete. Would you say that to a violent racist?

Agape' -- P

December 6, 2013

95-year-old South African president Nelson Mandela died Thursday, ironically,  the same day that Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom, a film about his life, premiered in London. The fact that mortality affects even beloved, charismatic men is always sobering.

A portion of profits from the sale of Fast and the Furious 6 will be donated to a charity founded by Paul Walker, a star of the franchise, who was killed in a horrific car crash last Saturday. Tin a taped interview that brought tears to my eyes, his grieving father disputed allegations that his son, a racing enthusiast, advocated street racing. Since Walker was actually a passenger in the car, I find those allegations in really poor taste. Meanwhile, two men were arrested allegedly Thursday for stealing pieces of the wreckage as it was being towed away. Unbelieveable.

Someday, I'd like to meet someone who stuffs pimentoes into olives for a living; I'd like to know what they dream about. I'd also like to know why I never see pimentoes in black olives, because those are the ones I like.

Reactions are mixed regarding whether singer Joe Jonas was right to include the names of Miley Cyrus and Demi Lovato during his recent admissions regarding marijuana use and losing his virginity. On this issue, after trying really, really hard... I don't think I could care less.

A woman who worked in a Georgia Wendy's was arrested and fired after admitting that she left half a smoked marijuana cigarette on a burger that she served a customer. Along with paying her medical bills, Wendy's has also given the customer a $50 gift certificate for a future meal. I don't know; I would've held out for a gift card for Burger King, where I could have it my way.

Families at a Tampa, Florida movie theater received a shock recently when, instead of the Disney film they were expecting to see, Frozen, was replaced with an explicit clip from an NC-17 film. One parent was quoted as saying there weren't enough hands to cover the eyes and ears of all the children in the audience. Whether this was an accident or a prank, I think Netflix should use this to promote their service. This never happens there.

And now from the get-ready-to-vomit department: Sydney Leathers, the woman named in the Anthony Weiner sexting scandal, is really working on her 15 minutes of fame. She's undergoing a labiaplasty to have excess skin removed from a private part of her anatomy (yes, there), and planning to auction the removed skin on the Internet. Someone sure thinks a lot of her self-worth, huh?

Let's hear it for the ones who go on caring even where they're the only ones doing it.

It's scenes like this that make me love the WGN Morning news team, even though I don't think my ego could handle being interviewed by them.

Never underestimate the value of a little downtime; I like to think of it as pressing my personal RESET button.

Agape' -- P

November 29, 2013

There's nothing like consistency: stuffing a face with delicious food has as much to do with true gratitude as decorated trees and painted eggs have to do with Christ's birth and resurrection.

Thanks to free enterprise and merchant competition, many stores launched their Black Friday sales on Thursday afternoon. If this keeps up, it won't be long before breakfast becomes the big Thanksgiving meal.

I am not questioning anyone's integrity here, but has anyone else noticed that the women featured in the local injury-settlement-lawyer commercials are more endowed in their after pictures than their before pictures? I'm just asking.

Playing by the rules may not always give you the better score, but a moral victory is the better prize.

While I don't care to see James Franco and Seth Rogan's parody of Kim Kardashian's video with Kanye West, I am amused by the fact that they made fun of it. I'm also thankful that they didn't parody the video Kim did with Ray J.

Speaking of Kanye West, he recently encouraged a boycott on Louis Vuitton products after the company's vice president snubbed his request for a meeting. I never cared about the LV label, and now I wish I could afford something.

Miley Cyrus turned 21 recently; is anyone else worried that, now that she's a legal adult, she'll start behaving inappropriately?

Recently, an interviewer asked Conrad Murray if, in his opinion, the late Michael Jackson was a pedophile. After a long pause, Murray did not answer the question, but instead described in detail how he personally applied a catheter to Jackson on a nightly basis. I could point out how unseemly it is to consult a man who just served time for killing a man about the man's sexual behavior, but, given that Jackson's daughter Paris is currently being treated after a suicide attempt, whatever does anyone hope to gain by discussing this?

Alec Baldwin has reportedly been fired from his latest TV gig after hurling another anti-gay epithet in public. Considering that the entertainment industry is largely populated by gay-friendly people, not the brightest thing to keep doing. Ask Mel Gibson, who lately is becoming better known as "Who?"

I have truly enjoyed Captain Kirk, TJ Hooker, Denny Crane, and even the Priceline Negotiator, but really, William Shatner's collaboration with State Farm on a PSA about turkey-frying safety is genius!

Agape' -- P

November 22, 2013

I love women. The two most important people in my life are women. Therefore, I disagree with the often-made, chauvinistic assumption that cranky women are just hormonal; I live with two women who are WAY beyond the stage of hormonal misdirection... yet they sometimes wake up cranky... and even downright evil.

Okay, what does it mean that the approval rating of Toronto mayor Bob Ford went UP after a video surfaced of him smoking crack cocaine in a past drunken stupor?

I don't know which is more disgusting, that traces of both cocaine and the herpes virus were found on library copies of 50 Shades of Grey, that it must have been anticipated in order for health authorities to look for them, or that people weren't anticipating it when they borrowed the book. I guess reading is more than fundamental.

Even with many vendors donating their services, the city of San Francisco spent $105,000 last week, turning an area of the city into a replica of Gotham City, to fulfill the wish of 5-year-old leukemia patient Miles Scott, a/k/a "Batkid", to be a superhero. Some have suggested that, since Miles' cancer has gone into remission, his wish should not have been fulfilled. So, would they rather his cancer get worse?

Chris Brown's early exit from anger management rehab makes me wonder: how do you measure success in anger management rehab? Tick the patient off and see how he reacts? Now, it has been revealed that he was kicked out of the rehab facility after he responded to his mother's suggestion that he needed counseling by throwing a rock through her car window. You know I love irony.

DeskBeers is a British company that will deliver beer to business offices on Friday; the concept is to "increase efficiency and improve creativity." Not having such a service here in the U.S., I had to try this on my own. But my results were different; maybe I did it wrong?

Respect is not a requirement for love. But it is a requirement for friendship.

A Brazilian woman who offered to sell her virginity last year for $800,000 has raised the price to $1,500,000. I didn't study marketing, but isn't the price of something that isn't selling supposed to go DOWN?

Since being acquitted after the shooting death of Trayvon Martin, George Zimmerman has had a number of altercations with police. This week, he was arrested for threatening his girlfriend with a shotgun. Something tells me he'll be the subject of public scrunity until he's in prison. Something also tells me it'll just be a matter of time.

I've always wanted the specs on The Jeffersons' cookware; I never knew anyone so rich that "fish don't fry in the kitchen" or "beans don't burn on the grill." Have you?

Agape' -- P

November 15, 2013

I'm not sure what this means, but I recently found myself trying to list the only places I'd consider it safe to wear noise-cancelling headphones.

I'm not big on commercializing popular music; someone should pay for using Rick James' Superfreak (by way of MC Hammer's Can't Touch This) to sell frozen waffles. But Nelly should be too edgy for his breakfast cereal jingle "Must Be The Honey". That's in its own category of wrong.

November 11 is actually celebrated as Singles Day in China; the fact that the month and day are made up of the number 1 are used to symbolize being alone. Ironically, the date is also popular with some people as wedding dates; the repetition of the number 1 symbolizes the sentiment "You're the only one for me." I guess it's all about what you choose to make it about.

Dave Wilson, the newest elected member of the Houston Community College Board, is being criticized for his campaign tactics; running in a district populated mostly with black people, Wilson, a white man, sent out fliers featuring happy black families and omitting his own picture. His defeated opponent, 24 year incumbent Bruce Austin, has demanded a recount. It's insulting to suggest that people select candidates based on race; give me an eternal ruler who has no color.

Andrew and Lauren Silverman, who are getting divorced, have an interesting settlement regarding their 7-year-old son Adam; each time Lauren's boyfriend/baby daddy, X-Factor judge/media mogul Simon Cowell, goes near Adam, Lauren has to pay a $50,000 penalty. After 3 violations, Lauren will lose all contact with Adam until custody is reviewed in court. There are also clauses demanding that Andrew is never trashed in Adam's presence, and that Andrew is the only one Adam will ever address as "Dad". While I find the whole thing extremely none of my business, I'm fascinated by how quickly parents become arbiters, children become prizes, and attorneys become necessary.

The InstLike app, which promised to incrrase the number of "likes" on user's Instagram photos and followers on Instagram accounts, duped hundreds of thousands of users into submitting their Instagram passwords to do so. People, there's a reason they're called passwords!

Did you know that November 16 is Guinness World Record Day? I didn't. Ironically, on Thursday, November 14, Harlem Globetrotters rookie Corey "Thunder" Law broke the world record for the longest successful basketball shot with a one-armed shot a full 109.75 feet from the basket. Congratulations, Thunder. And what a cool nickname.

Brazilian police are looking for the person(s) behind an ad posted on a classified website Tuesday, November 12, offering a baby for sale for $430, simply statin that the crying baby is stopping his parents from a good night's sleep. The ad was pulled after 12 hours for violating the website's standards. I just want to know how they came up with a price of $430.

It's hard to believe there are people who don't instinctively get this, but when you're whispered to in public, your response should be a whisper, too.

Several years ago, I lost the only good driver's license photo I've ever taken. I'm still not over it. But there's nothing wrong with that, right?

Agape' -- P