December 20, 2013

Legendary Chicago radio personaality Larry Lujack, who inspired some of today's popular broadcasters such as David Letterman and Rush Limbaugh, died of cancer this week at 73. I still remember listening to his morning show when I was growing up. Minneapolis-based Target Corp. admitted that approximately 40 million credit and debit card accounts may have been impacted by a security breach in its system, permitting unauthorized access to information on customers who made purchases in U.S. stores from November 27 to December 15. I can't remember the last time I was this happy about my negative credit score and inability to get a credit card. A 21-year-old California man who was caught driving a stolen pickup truck explained to police that he stole the truck in order to get to court on time; he was late for a hearing regarding earlier charges of stealing another car. Sometimes, consistency can be a bad thing. . For the second year in a row, a woman has assembled her Christmas lights on the roof of her Louisiana home into the shape of a hand flipping the bird. Last year, city officials asked that she take down the display, but the ACLU supported her right to reassemble it. The reason for the display? To offend a neighbor with whom she is feuding. Ironically, she doesn't even live in the house anymore. I would comment on the size of the chip on her shoulder, but I don't want to get on her bad side. Have you seen the commercials for yogurt that feature teenagers outwitting their parents when they swap the unhealthy snacks for Yoplait? I'm trying to figure out who their target audience is, since it seems unlikely that parents would enjoy being portrayed as clueless dupes. At least those commercials for Activia are clearly for the benefit of the chronically constipated. I like that kind of clarity. Speaking of which, have you seen this? The "squatty potty" is designed to position the user into a squatting position on the commode, which is supposed to increase elimination. After centuries of civilization, somebody finally figured out that those bears in the woods have been doing it right. I've wondered for years: what do you do when you desperately need a Clapper or a Chia Pet like, in April or May? Arts & Entertainment Television (A&E) has indefinitely suspended Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson for making remarks criticizing homosexuality during an interview with GQ magazine. Robertson has repeatedly expressed his views during public appearances; what did they expect? I'll tell you what I didn't expect: to see this man  being featured in GQ magazine. I haven't read it in years, but I remember it being a magazine about mens' fashion. A 17-year-old North Texan young man was sentenced to 10 years probation for killing 4 pedestrians and injuring 2 others after stealing beer from a store, and driving drunk at 70 miles per hour (30 miles over the posted speed limit). Besides a blood alcohol reading of 3 times the legal limit when tested 3 hours after the accident, there were also traces of valium in his system. The young man, who was on probation months before for being caught with alcohol, avoided prison because his attorneys allegedly argued that his affluent upbringing did not teach him to connect his behavior with consequences. This defense, called affluenza, has met with a lot of debate and controversy. No kidding. Know the expression "take a long walk off a short pier?" Well, it actually happened: a Taiwanese woman touring Australia had to be rescued after walking off this pier   while checking her Facebook account on her smartphone. Thankfully, both she and her phone (which she held onto throughout the ordeal) survived unscathed. Agape' -- P