Sometimes, I envy turtles.
When I feel bad, I ask myself if I've ever felt worse. If the answer is no, then I ask myself if I could feel worse. So far, the answer has always been yes. That helps a lot.
When I feel good, I never ask myself if I've ever felt better. Yay for me.
A 56-year-old woman who has been working at Arby's for 23 years was recently fired for leaving the store to escape from an armed robber. Her statement? She decided that if she was going to be killed, it wasn't going to be at Arby's. Okay, never mind that after 23 years of service without being promoted to management, she should be rewarded (not fired!) just for coming up with that catchy slogan!
One of Magic Johnson's former employees is suing him for wrongful termination. He says he fired her for tardiness; she says she was fired for refusing to test his Red Vines candy for freshness. I say maybe some reporter should be fired for calling this "news."
A San Antonio, TX woman faked her own kidnapping by having herself bound and left in the back of her car, to avoid a day on her job. Her scheme unraveled when police found a lottery ticket she bought at the time she claimed she was abducted at knifepoint. I have questions about this, like (1) how big was the jackpot that tempted her to risk her alibi? and (2) how bad are things on her job that she'd rather spend a day bound in her car than call in sick and spend the day on the Riverwalk? I've been there, it's beautiful!
Early one morning this week, I watched a movie from my youth. The music, the fashion, the attitudes all had me going back and forth between feelings of nostalgia and "what on earth were we thinking?"
At the end of the day, it really is all about the truth.
The words may have similar roots, but experience is not what makes a person an expert.
Sometimes I wonder which is sadder: the state of this world, or the refusal of most people to reach for something better.
Agape' -- P
Friday, October 26, 2012
Friday, October 19, 2012
October 19, 2012
The only value in determining where you got lost is making sure you don't get lost again. It's hard to reach your destination walking backward.
I wonder if we could eliminate a lot of reality television if someone would just produce a show about actual train wrecks.
A judge has ruled that the producers of The Bachelor cannot be forced to select a man of color to star in the competition. As a single, black man, I am so relieved!
A 94-ear-old man from India holds the world record as the world's oldest new parent. Which is more surprising, that the child's birth was planned, or that he says he's looking forward to another one?
The fascination with celebrities is so out of hand! There's nothing wrong with buying the same grooming products as a celeb, if you want to look like them, but being a performer does not qualify them to suggest how I live, how I think, or who I want as a ruler.
Do you think the feverish celeb worship is the reason some of them think they're qualified to address any and all matters? Do they believe there are judges losing sleep about changing legislature to accommodate stars who are postponing getting married? Are dictators in countries around the world worried about a visit from an American movie star?
Just when you think you've heard everything, along comes a news item about Terri Graham, the 44-year-old mother of two who nurses her dog(!) to feel maternal. And would you believe she isn't the first?
I must be slipping; how did I miss national pasta day on October 17?
I don't gamble, but the story about the Massachusetts guy who won $30 mil just after his girlfriend dumped him did make me laugh. What a difference a day makes.
Reality... a good place to visit, but not enough people want to live there.
Agape' -- P
I wonder if we could eliminate a lot of reality television if someone would just produce a show about actual train wrecks.
A judge has ruled that the producers of The Bachelor cannot be forced to select a man of color to star in the competition. As a single, black man, I am so relieved!
A 94-ear-old man from India holds the world record as the world's oldest new parent. Which is more surprising, that the child's birth was planned, or that he says he's looking forward to another one?
The fascination with celebrities is so out of hand! There's nothing wrong with buying the same grooming products as a celeb, if you want to look like them, but being a performer does not qualify them to suggest how I live, how I think, or who I want as a ruler.
Do you think the feverish celeb worship is the reason some of them think they're qualified to address any and all matters? Do they believe there are judges losing sleep about changing legislature to accommodate stars who are postponing getting married? Are dictators in countries around the world worried about a visit from an American movie star?
Just when you think you've heard everything, along comes a news item about Terri Graham, the 44-year-old mother of two who nurses her dog(!) to feel maternal. And would you believe she isn't the first?
I must be slipping; how did I miss national pasta day on October 17?
I don't gamble, but the story about the Massachusetts guy who won $30 mil just after his girlfriend dumped him did make me laugh. What a difference a day makes.
Reality... a good place to visit, but not enough people want to live there.
Agape' -- P
Friday, October 12, 2012
October 12, 2012
If you're not happy there, or it's not a healthy place to be, can you really call it a comfort zone?
If intolerance is the same as hate (and a lot of people think it is), then tolerance must be the same as love; which means I love twice the number of people I thought I loved.
According to the news, a man who had gender reassignment surgery 23 years ago is upset because his doctors will not comply with his request for another surgery to undo his reassignment; after 23 years, he says he realizes he really wasn't a woman in a man's body. I could go into a wordy moral about not tampering with biology, but the point can basically be summed up with the familiar phrase: you break it, you bought it.
Is it just me, or are there even more reality TV shows following the lives of people I neither know nor care about?
Wasington Redskins reserve player Adam Carriker followed through on his promise to be photographed in pro wrestling gear (we're talking man panties) after losing a bet with retired wrestler Bill Goldberg. Are you paying attention, Green Bay Packer Aaron Rodgers?
Why do people complain that Paula Deen's southern accent seems thicker as time goes on, but no one complains about the same thing happening with Sofia Vergara's Latino accent? Could it be because when we look at Sofia Vergara, the last thing we're paying attention to is whatever it is she's saying?
Vanity should not come ahead of functionality; there's nothing impressive about not being as independent as possible.
Before complaining about what someone has done to you, it would help to remember if the person is still alive to say they're sorry.
Nothing cures feeling like a teenager better than talking to a teenager. Maybe we should thank them for helping us remember who we are.
It's amazing, the amount of money, time, and effort spent on correcting the ugly on the outside, but not the inside.
Agape' -- P
If intolerance is the same as hate (and a lot of people think it is), then tolerance must be the same as love; which means I love twice the number of people I thought I loved.
According to the news, a man who had gender reassignment surgery 23 years ago is upset because his doctors will not comply with his request for another surgery to undo his reassignment; after 23 years, he says he realizes he really wasn't a woman in a man's body. I could go into a wordy moral about not tampering with biology, but the point can basically be summed up with the familiar phrase: you break it, you bought it.
Is it just me, or are there even more reality TV shows following the lives of people I neither know nor care about?
Wasington Redskins reserve player Adam Carriker followed through on his promise to be photographed in pro wrestling gear (we're talking man panties) after losing a bet with retired wrestler Bill Goldberg. Are you paying attention, Green Bay Packer Aaron Rodgers?
Why do people complain that Paula Deen's southern accent seems thicker as time goes on, but no one complains about the same thing happening with Sofia Vergara's Latino accent? Could it be because when we look at Sofia Vergara, the last thing we're paying attention to is whatever it is she's saying?
Vanity should not come ahead of functionality; there's nothing impressive about not being as independent as possible.
Before complaining about what someone has done to you, it would help to remember if the person is still alive to say they're sorry.
Nothing cures feeling like a teenager better than talking to a teenager. Maybe we should thank them for helping us remember who we are.
It's amazing, the amount of money, time, and effort spent on correcting the ugly on the outside, but not the inside.
Agape' -- P
Friday, October 5, 2012
October 5, 2012
Doing the right thing is no reason to brag; but it's also no reason to feel shame.
A new study suggests that women speak less when in the company of men. I wonder who would finance such a study. Hmmmm...
Born to Hollywood legends, starring in several successful films, Jamie Lee Curtis' Activia commercials have finally made her a household name. The woman owes her fame to regularity. After all, some people don't go to movies, but everybody... you know.
A Texas woman has filed a lawsuit against Walmart after a 2010 incident when a store clerk ripped up the $100 bill she was using to pay for her purchases, then a store manager ripped up a second $100 bill minutes later. Both store employees accused her of counterfeiting, but were proven wrong when the pieces of money were later verified. I couldn't decide who made the bigger mistake, the clerk, the manager, or the woman who produced a second $100 bill after the first was destroyed. However, if a judge grants the woman the $70,000+ she's suing for when she's only out $200... that would be the biggest mistake.
The expression "be there with bells on" dates back to the pre-automobile days, when people would hang bells on their horse-drawn carriages before travelling to special events. I used to wonder where people would wear their bells.
It's called wallowing because it requires no effort and gets you nowhere.
Disney has announced that beer and wine will soon be sold during dinner in the Magic Kingdom for the first time in 41 years. Some commentors are saying this will finally make Disneyworld the happiest place on earth.
It's ironic, but too much comfort food makes you anything but comfortable.
Often, I'm appalled by the amount of money spent researching things like whether humans are related to butterflies. Then, someone invents gel cushions to make sitting comfortable, and my faith in technology is restored.
How is entertainment supposed to provide an escape when producers are clamoring to reflect the world's misery?
Agape' -- P
A new study suggests that women speak less when in the company of men. I wonder who would finance such a study. Hmmmm...
Born to Hollywood legends, starring in several successful films, Jamie Lee Curtis' Activia commercials have finally made her a household name. The woman owes her fame to regularity. After all, some people don't go to movies, but everybody... you know.
A Texas woman has filed a lawsuit against Walmart after a 2010 incident when a store clerk ripped up the $100 bill she was using to pay for her purchases, then a store manager ripped up a second $100 bill minutes later. Both store employees accused her of counterfeiting, but were proven wrong when the pieces of money were later verified. I couldn't decide who made the bigger mistake, the clerk, the manager, or the woman who produced a second $100 bill after the first was destroyed. However, if a judge grants the woman the $70,000+ she's suing for when she's only out $200... that would be the biggest mistake.
The expression "be there with bells on" dates back to the pre-automobile days, when people would hang bells on their horse-drawn carriages before travelling to special events. I used to wonder where people would wear their bells.
It's called wallowing because it requires no effort and gets you nowhere.
Disney has announced that beer and wine will soon be sold during dinner in the Magic Kingdom for the first time in 41 years. Some commentors are saying this will finally make Disneyworld the happiest place on earth.
It's ironic, but too much comfort food makes you anything but comfortable.
Often, I'm appalled by the amount of money spent researching things like whether humans are related to butterflies. Then, someone invents gel cushions to make sitting comfortable, and my faith in technology is restored.
How is entertainment supposed to provide an escape when producers are clamoring to reflect the world's misery?
Agape' -- P
Friday, September 28, 2012
September 28, 2012
Why do people often confuse the words typical and normal? I define what's normal for me, not the majority of people.
When you expect the worst from others, that's often what you get. The same holds true when you expect the best.
The NFL commissioner admitted in a recent interview that settling contract disputes with the referees was pushed forward by the now famous blown call made by an interim ref in last week's Seahawks/Packers game. Incompetence is such an interesting negotiator.
Despite multiple protestations to the contrary by the National Pork Council, there are predictions that there will be a worldwide shortage of bacon next year. While I'm alarmed about the possibility of no more bacon, I'm so fascinated that there is actually a National Pork Council.
Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristin Stewart have reportedly reconciled. My take on this news is: who cares? Haven't you heard? We're running out of bacon!
One of my pet peeves is computer software that is automatically installed to replace the software I've chosen. Just because I'm using a computer, don't assume I don't know what browser or search engine I want to use. If you really want me to appreciate your product, don't try to force me to use it.
In his recently published memoir. Total Recall, former governor Arnold Schwarzenegger states that his extra-marital affair with his housekeeper, and the concealment of their child, was "politically acceptable" because his campaign platform was not family values. What a powerful example of justifying bad behavior.
Actress Elizabeth Hurley has come under fire for designing a line of bikini swimwear for prepubescent girls. Recently, there was a news itemabout a school that teaches pole dancing for children. I don't think Honey Boo Boo is the only child we have to worry about.
A report was recently released predicting that half the world's population will be obese within the next 20 years. I have to find a better way to be ahead of my time.
It's pitiful to be so inaecure that you have to use others to elevate yourself. But when you lie to do it, it goes from pitiful to just plain wrong.
Agape' -- P
When you expect the worst from others, that's often what you get. The same holds true when you expect the best.
The NFL commissioner admitted in a recent interview that settling contract disputes with the referees was pushed forward by the now famous blown call made by an interim ref in last week's Seahawks/Packers game. Incompetence is such an interesting negotiator.
Despite multiple protestations to the contrary by the National Pork Council, there are predictions that there will be a worldwide shortage of bacon next year. While I'm alarmed about the possibility of no more bacon, I'm so fascinated that there is actually a National Pork Council.
Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristin Stewart have reportedly reconciled. My take on this news is: who cares? Haven't you heard? We're running out of bacon!
One of my pet peeves is computer software that is automatically installed to replace the software I've chosen. Just because I'm using a computer, don't assume I don't know what browser or search engine I want to use. If you really want me to appreciate your product, don't try to force me to use it.
In his recently published memoir. Total Recall, former governor Arnold Schwarzenegger states that his extra-marital affair with his housekeeper, and the concealment of their child, was "politically acceptable" because his campaign platform was not family values. What a powerful example of justifying bad behavior.
Actress Elizabeth Hurley has come under fire for designing a line of bikini swimwear for prepubescent girls. Recently, there was a news itemabout a school that teaches pole dancing for children. I don't think Honey Boo Boo is the only child we have to worry about.
A report was recently released predicting that half the world's population will be obese within the next 20 years. I have to find a better way to be ahead of my time.
It's pitiful to be so inaecure that you have to use others to elevate yourself. But when you lie to do it, it goes from pitiful to just plain wrong.
Agape' -- P
Friday, September 21, 2012
September 21, 2012
It feels great to be loved. It feels great to be appreciated. To be both is amazing.
I'm all for giving quality food to dogs, but it's hard to remain enthused knowing they don't mind drinking out of toilets. Speaking of which, do you think dogs resent us when they see what we do in their big porcelain water dishes?
The commercial that made me laugh out loud this week is the Jetta commercial where the guy has to carry his bulldog around all day because the dog swallowed his keys. Love it!
I'm getting over a miserable cold this week, and it made me realize I haven't had a cold in years. So I really won't complain about it.
Last year, I watched a TV segment where celebrity chef Jamie Oliver ground, breaded, and fried chicken fat, skin, and bones to show a group of children how easy it is to make chicken nuggets out of them. To his dismay (and my horror), the kids still wanted to eat them! Meanwhile, I can't look at a chicken nugget without wondering. Thanks a lot, Jamie.
At facechairs.com, you can buy a custom made chair with a picture of a celebrity printed on the seat for the price of $950. I've said it before, I'll say it again: some things are so stupid, I don't need to write a joke about it.
Father/daughter dances and mother/son baseball games have been banned in the Cranston, Rhode Island school district because they are in violation of the state's laws against gender discrimination. Perhaps they'd be okay with father/son dances and mother/daughter baseball games?
While I appreciate the value of a good impression, I think a lot of fundamental qualities of individuals are overlooked when people make immediate assumptions about each other.
If I find an actor particularly excellent in one role and totally repulsive in another, does that mean he's a gifted actor?
Survival is something to be thankful for. But it's unhealthy to make hardship your identity.
Agape' -- P
I'm all for giving quality food to dogs, but it's hard to remain enthused knowing they don't mind drinking out of toilets. Speaking of which, do you think dogs resent us when they see what we do in their big porcelain water dishes?
The commercial that made me laugh out loud this week is the Jetta commercial where the guy has to carry his bulldog around all day because the dog swallowed his keys. Love it!
I'm getting over a miserable cold this week, and it made me realize I haven't had a cold in years. So I really won't complain about it.
Last year, I watched a TV segment where celebrity chef Jamie Oliver ground, breaded, and fried chicken fat, skin, and bones to show a group of children how easy it is to make chicken nuggets out of them. To his dismay (and my horror), the kids still wanted to eat them! Meanwhile, I can't look at a chicken nugget without wondering. Thanks a lot, Jamie.
At facechairs.com, you can buy a custom made chair with a picture of a celebrity printed on the seat for the price of $950. I've said it before, I'll say it again: some things are so stupid, I don't need to write a joke about it.
Father/daughter dances and mother/son baseball games have been banned in the Cranston, Rhode Island school district because they are in violation of the state's laws against gender discrimination. Perhaps they'd be okay with father/son dances and mother/daughter baseball games?
While I appreciate the value of a good impression, I think a lot of fundamental qualities of individuals are overlooked when people make immediate assumptions about each other.
If I find an actor particularly excellent in one role and totally repulsive in another, does that mean he's a gifted actor?
Survival is something to be thankful for. But it's unhealthy to make hardship your identity.
Agape' -- P
Friday, September 14, 2012
September 14, 2012
Being miserable may not be a choice, but staying miserable is.
Jessica Simpson has been criticized this week for her new commercial for Weight Watchers, which does not reveal her alleged progress as a member trying to lose her post-pregnancy weight. But let's face it, everybody loses weight at different rates. They can't all be Jennifer Hudsons, some are Kirstie Alleys.
A Canadian school offering $70/hour pole dancing classes to children answers its critics with the claim that teaching children to climb a stripper pole is no more sexual than teaching them to climb trees. However, I never hear of guys spending their paychecks watching women climb trees.
A Canadian news report this week announced the theft of $30,000,000 worth of maple syrup in Quebec. There have been no leads in the case, but I suggest the police stake out pancake and waffle houses.
These two fascinating stories from Canada does remind me that Canada has legalized marijuana. I'm not saying there's a connection... it may be just a wild coincidence, man.
Everyone has baggage... it's called baggage because it will weigh you down if you don't let go of it.
Okay, the Green Bay Packers defeated the Chicago Bears 23-10 last night. But Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers wussed on his promise to wear a 49ers jersey after losing a bet to Boys II Men last week. So we have a moral victory, right? No, losing still bites.
New York authorities have passed a ban on serving soft drinks in sizes greater than 16 ounces in restaurants and movie theaters. While the proposed motive is to reduce the health risk of too much refined sugar, I can't help wondering when personal responsibility became such a menace.
The meaning of the term celebrity hasn't changed, but the caliber of who the public choose to celebrate sure has. Case in point: the judges of the TV competition show X Factor were recently honored by having their handprints and footprints preserved in cement in front of Grauman's Chinese theater, alongside true Hollywood legends. So, there's Elizabeth Taylor, Sydney Poitier, and then... Britney Spears and Demi Lovato. There's something very wrong there.
Speaking of the absurd obsession with celebrities, I think what Brett Cohen did was brilliant; a virtual unknown, he had friends film him walking around New York surrounded by an entourage of more friends, and generated so much buzz among onlookers that he has himself become a celebrity. You know how I love irony.
Agape' -- P
Jessica Simpson has been criticized this week for her new commercial for Weight Watchers, which does not reveal her alleged progress as a member trying to lose her post-pregnancy weight. But let's face it, everybody loses weight at different rates. They can't all be Jennifer Hudsons, some are Kirstie Alleys.
A Canadian school offering $70/hour pole dancing classes to children answers its critics with the claim that teaching children to climb a stripper pole is no more sexual than teaching them to climb trees. However, I never hear of guys spending their paychecks watching women climb trees.
A Canadian news report this week announced the theft of $30,000,000 worth of maple syrup in Quebec. There have been no leads in the case, but I suggest the police stake out pancake and waffle houses.
These two fascinating stories from Canada does remind me that Canada has legalized marijuana. I'm not saying there's a connection... it may be just a wild coincidence, man.
Everyone has baggage... it's called baggage because it will weigh you down if you don't let go of it.
Okay, the Green Bay Packers defeated the Chicago Bears 23-10 last night. But Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers wussed on his promise to wear a 49ers jersey after losing a bet to Boys II Men last week. So we have a moral victory, right? No, losing still bites.
New York authorities have passed a ban on serving soft drinks in sizes greater than 16 ounces in restaurants and movie theaters. While the proposed motive is to reduce the health risk of too much refined sugar, I can't help wondering when personal responsibility became such a menace.
The meaning of the term celebrity hasn't changed, but the caliber of who the public choose to celebrate sure has. Case in point: the judges of the TV competition show X Factor were recently honored by having their handprints and footprints preserved in cement in front of Grauman's Chinese theater, alongside true Hollywood legends. So, there's Elizabeth Taylor, Sydney Poitier, and then... Britney Spears and Demi Lovato. There's something very wrong there.
Speaking of the absurd obsession with celebrities, I think what Brett Cohen did was brilliant; a virtual unknown, he had friends film him walking around New York surrounded by an entourage of more friends, and generated so much buzz among onlookers that he has himself become a celebrity. You know how I love irony.
Agape' -- P
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