April 4, 2014

One of the first steps on the road to relative happiness and contentment is forgetting how to whine.

Okay, I admit it: I laugh my head off watching videos of TV news bloopers. But at least I stopped checking the dictionary for cuss words.

It's not that I don't enjoy movies based on Bible stories (if they're accurate), but it's always a little sad when I hear someone wondering about the plot.

I take back what I said about missing Jamie Lee Curtis and Reba McEntire on those Activia commercials. I'd much rather watch Shakira's ribcage while she dances in a grass skirt.

Speaking of advertising, have you seen the campaign Taco Bell has for its new breakfast menu? They rounded up a bunch of guys named Ronald McDonald (there are some mean parents out there), and paid them to endorse it. That's brilliant! I bet the guys at Burger King wish they'd thought of that.

Toronto mayor Rob Ford said he didn't mean to vote against naming a street after Nelson Mandela, that he was stretching at the wrong moment. I know that's possible; remember that Dick Van Dyke Show episode where Rob accidentally bought that ugly painting at an auction?

Oh, look, my tongue is in my cheek again: while defending her decision to perform in porn films to finance her Duke University education, a young coed explained that she's doing what a lot of young girls do, just on camera and for money. In other words, "Yes, Mother, if all the other girls were jumping off a bridge, I would, too."

I'm okay with being alone with this opinion: whenever I hear Nelly's "Must be the Honey" jingle for Honey Nut Cheerios, I'm reminded of the disco music that played during the chase scenes on Chips... it's just wrong.

There! I said it: Over 8,000 fans of How I Met Your Mother have signed an online petition to coerce the producers to reshoot the series finale with a different ending. Look, it wasn't the ending I wanted, either, but come on, it's time to let go and move on.

And now, a word that may or may not be directed at someone specific: yes, it is much bigger than a bread box, and no, you can't touch it. Sorry.

Agape' -- P